This is an intense time. It’s a painful time. It’s a period of difficult conversations, a tragic pandemic, and senseless loss of life at the hands of those who are sworn to protect us.

It’s overwhelming.

It’s disheartening.

In the face of all this it’s hard to know what to do, even as you feel the need to DO SOMETHING.

Sometimes the “something” is giving yourself time and space to go for a walk outside.

Sometimes it’s joining others to stand against injustice and violence.

Most often for me, it’s using paint to process those multilayered things on the inside onto a multilayered page on the outside.

When I am able to settle down and consider that God might also have an interest in the goings-on, I remember that prayers don’t have to follow a certain formula (whew! ’cause that ship has sailed) or contain a specific order (again, that would be a losing game). It can be a great heaving sigh, weeping, rage, crying out. Even the act of turning my face in the direction of prayer is good enough…which is lucky because there are many days when that’s just about all I can muster.

What I know for sure is that God is close to the brokenhearted.

God is interested in justice.

God will mend that which is broken.

But how long, oh Lord, as the Good Book says. How long?

Its somewhat ironic that this is the final breath prayer of the whole series started by Osheta Moore. And I’m getting to the end of this documentation as the jury has just started their deliberations in the Derrick Chauvin trial of the murder of Mr. George Floyd. Mr. Floyd, who had the air choked out of him by a police officer, who cried “I can’t breathe” much like we’ve heard other black men cry out at the hands of police officers. Don’t mis-hear me: I’m not here to argue whether there are any good police officers — although I think we need to take a long look at how we got where we are, which must include looking at racist policies. Primarily right now, I’m asking white people like me to acknowledge the reality that police officers (most oftentimes white police officers) have exerted unjustified force that caused the death of individuals of color. I can’t even begin to bring the recent killing of 13-year-old Adam Toldeo in Chicago into this; it breaks my mothering heart into fragments.

So I will continue to turn my face towards God. In my prayers I’ll argue, ignore, lambaste, wrestle, lament, and implore. I’m not sure what I think about what are the external results of prayer, but I know it’s attuning my heart with God’s heart (I think that’s a song?) and so, helping me do good in the world.

Please join me in praying for Minnesota., and specifically for our brothers and sisters of color who have been denied justice too many times.

Amen and amen.

Special thanks to Osheta Moore and her breath prayers that inspired this entire thing. She’s got a forthcoming book you should watch for and consider pre-ordering: Dear White Peacemakers from Herald Press. It will be released in May, 2021.