Friends School Plant Sale 2012

14
May

As promised, here is a review of my first experience at the epic Friends School Plant Sale held at the Minnesota State Fair Grandstand.

It was great.

When we got there, we got a wristband. The wristband (at no charge) had a number on it and was our entry ticket into the sale. The MC (yes, she was on the mic) told people when it was their turn to go through the gate and all those with that number on their wrist band could enter. We had to wait a bit, but I was with a wonderful longtime friend and it was a gorgeous morning, so it was no chore. Plus there were vendors sprinkled around the waiting area, so it made for interesting people watching.

Lots of gardeners brought their own wagons or carts, some rigged up with various devices to fit as many plants as possible into their cart without them getting squashed (think shelving systems). These guys were the hard-core plant salers. Even if you didn’t bring your own, there were plenty of carts available to use.

Now the fun started. We got inside and I was amazed by the organization and variety. All the plants were sorted by category and were then in alphabetical order. It was a type-A’s dream come true. There was room between the aisles and plenty of clearly marked “employees” to ask for help (all the people working the sale were volunteers, parents, teachers and lots of students of the Friends School).

You should have seen all the varieties they had. I mean, things you’d have to special order if you relied on most local nurseries. There were a few things missing due to crop failures sad little empty places on the wooden shelves, but these were sandwiched between such abundant replacements that I can’t imagine people could complain much. The whole Grandstand was filled with plants front the front to the back, all the way across the whole first level, and some of them had multiple tiers. Crazy amounts of plants. And there were trees, shrubs and roses outside. It just kept going!

When it came time to check out, the process was simple. You were given a tally sheet at the beginning and it was up to you to write down what plant, how much and how many. You gave that sheet to a friendly lady at the tally table and she’d tippity-tap her big calculator and write up your total. Push your cart to a cashier further down and you’re done.

The whole thing took us about an hour and a half, and that was with a few backtracks and additions.

Overall there are a couple things I would mention to any person interested in going to the sale in the future:

#1. If you can avoid bringing your kids, you will have an easier time.

You can bring kids, of course, but it is a big place, concrete floors, I have no idea where the bathrooms were, and there are A LOT of people there. The whole experience will be more relaxing for you if your kids are playing with a nice friend or grandparent at home.

#2. You should go in with a plan.

Because of the magnitude and the crowd, it is not the place to plan out your planters. They have a great website where you can get organized ahead of time by creating a wishlist. When you print out the wishlist, it has the code for each plant, and that will help you find it’s location at the sale. And you’ll definitely want to have that list.

#3. You are among kin.

I was surprised at the patience and general good attitude of everyone in attendance. I watched people crush rosemary and smile as they inhaled the scent. I saw people oogle flowers in other people’s carts and comment on how pretty it was going to look. People were polite, patient, and nobody stole my purse even when I left my cart unattended multiple times. What nice folks. 🙂

Since you know you’re going to spend the money on your plants and flowers anyway, if you want to support a school in the process and have fun making an event of it, I think you’ll really enjoy the Friends School Plant Sale. And no, I don’t have kids at the school nor am I a paid spokeswoman for them. But it was a wonderful day with a great friends and beautiful weather. You’ll have to ask me in a few years when I’ve made it through the sale by myself and in the rain. It might just be worth it.

Children as Phantom Limbs

1
May

(…and I don’t mean in super hero terms)

I once read an article about the life of a suffering woman and her young daughter in an impoverished country. The family had dirty water and barely enough to eat. The reporter have the daughter a piece of chocolate and then captured a poignant moment as the mother wiped an errant crumb from her daughter’s lip and put it in her own mouth. The take-away message emphasized the hardship the mother was facing, the difficulty of her life.

Huh?

Did the reporter not realize that as mothers our children are, for many years, extensions of ourselves?

The chocolate crumb (which was something the daughter was lucky to even lay eyes on. If it was between me and my daughter and only one of us could have the chocolate, it would be no contest. I would win the crumb. She’s only four and I’m much bigger than she is.) on her daughter’s lip was really in that moment a crumb on the mother’s lip.

It is not until later when they no longer need our help, when they no longer need us to interpret their babble for strangers (and sometimes their own fathers), when they can tell us the sum of 135 and 24 that we become aware of their separateness. Or rather they become aware and we accept it, knowing it is an essential part of their development (thank you, Mr. Maslow).

But as they distinguish themselves from us, don’t we miss it — those un-self-conscious moments when they twirl our hair to comfort themselves, or when we can still carry them on a hip and we must reposition their hand because it rests on our breast? Our bodies were their bodies, at least for a time, and while we wanted a break (“Could everyone stop touching me for three minutes!?!”) from the demands on our bodies (while nursing how many times did you feel bovincial? — and is that a real word?), when we discover it has happened, it is a bittersweet moment. And if we did not physically birth the child, as is the case with so many mothers with the divine calling to adopt, there is still a physical shift, an invisible tether that leashed us to that child when we first held her, whether it be instant or by inches. Maybe that’s why certain people have lots of babies and huge families? because that dependant, needy phase can vanish just as you realize it is only a phase?

This connection is what those grannies must refer to when they tell the disheveled, sleep-deprived mother to savor the infant stage, toddler stage, cranky three-year-old stage, because “they grow up so fast.”

At that moment all we hope is that they WILL grow up fast.

But we can’t arrest time at a certain month or year. What the grannies mean is that after only a few looooong-feeling years, those dependent years will be ones we long for. Like an amputee feels a phantom limb, we will absent-mindedly do the baby bounce when we stand in line behind a fussy baby, or hurry to dig through our purse for a distraction in church when an impatient toddler squirms in the pew in front of us. Or quick snatch a piece of chocolate out of a preschooler’s hand, because, of course, that’s not a healthy choice…for a preschooler.

But maybe the grannies are right and we do need to be present and appreciative in the years when we feel like we’re under water in a sea of diapers, baby food, naps and very very short grumpy people. After a few more years they may still be grumpy, but they’ll no longer be short. 🙂

A Terrible Stealer of Joy: Worry

19
Apr

Alternate title: She’s a Freak…Yow!

It has been confirmed once again that I am the exception to the norm, that my brain doesn’t work in the similar patterns as the brains of other women, and that women today consistently share one common characteristic: worry.

Women worry about everything.

A woman worries if it is time to move her child to a front-facing car seat.

She worries about her husband’s safety on a work trip out of town.

She worries about the mole she noticed on her shoulder.

She worries about the comment she made at party last weekend.

These things are reasonable, when taken individually. Who doesn’t want to make the best decision about the health or safety of their family members? The thing that unites women is not just the fact that they worry about common things; it’s that they don’t just worry, they obsess.

Almost every woman I know mulls things over, and over and over, until a problem or decision that was fairly small gains unmerited importance and gravity. Will the house be ready when company comes over? Why did my co-worker make that suggestion yesterday and what did he mean by it? When my in-laws offer me a maid service as a birthday gift, what are they really saying?

The constant analysis and deconstruction of every detail of every interaction robs women of their confidence, their self-worth and their joy. Who has time to be joyful when there are so many bird-y things pecking at them all the time? If left unchecked, women’s worrying can make them stop trusting their instincts and put their worth in the hands of the people outside themselves. When allowed to grow, this shakiness can lead to chronic and sometimes debilitating anxiety.

I’m trying to discern why this is so commonplace. What messages are women given that leads them down this road? How can we keep this from being passed down to our daughters?

And how did it NOT get passed to me?

I’d love to hear your insights and experiences with worry and anxiety.

Gas Grill Safety

14
Apr

With the warmer temperatures and plants in bloom, the season of grilling is upon us. Everybody, fire extinguishers at the ready! I have had a few run-in’s with a grill, and I’d like to help you avoid the many pitfalls of dealing with fire.

According to the government FEMA website, “the leading ignition factor is a result of some mechanical failure, such as a part failure, leak, or break and lack of maintenance (43%). Other leading ignition factors for outdoor grill fires include “operational deficiency” (primarily leaving the grill unattended), misuse of the material ignited (combustible material was too close to the heat), and misuse of the heat of ignition itself (inadequate control of the open fire and abandoned materials).”

That website also notes that the highest occurence of grill fires happens during the summer months. Wow. I wonder how many taxpayer dollars went to observe that obvious fact. In the spirit of observing the obvious, then, I offer my own thoughts on grill safety:

#1. Bigger is not better.

Making the heat higher or the flames bigger will not actually help things. A moderate temperature to get things going is more efficient, since if you make the grill too hot, you’ll just have to wait for it to cool down anyway. I once tried to make burgers for our Meal Co-op and ended up with burgers like hockey pucks. I also ended up with a very light wallet since I had to order pizza to feed them all when my original dinner plans went in the dumpster.

#2. Temperance is not always a virtue.

You gotta have some kind of heat or your poor lil’ burgers will stay raw. Sometimes when you want to slow cook something, like a brisket for example, you’ll want to keep the heat low but then cook it for a long time, not something you usually want to do with burgers or brats. I can’t tell you the number of times I have tried to go slow and low with the burgers only to run short on time and try to get them done by cranking up the heat. See #1 above.

#3. Men who stand around the grill are actually accomplishing something…

Namely not burning the food. I used to think about grilling like baking: you put the meat in there at a certain temperature, leave it for the alloted amount of time, and when you come back it is done. In grilling, you definitely need to monitor the situation. If that means the guys can have a beverage of choice and visit with pals while doing something that saves me the hassle of running in and out of the house, then I’m all for it.

#4. A grill is not a pot of water.

Often times I will put a pot of water on the stove, turn the flame up to high and go deal with other things for a while. This is a bad idea with a grill. Just as putting the lid on a pot will help the water boil quicker (maybe? I haven’t actually done the experiment needed to compare and contrast the boil rates, but it’s what I’ve always done), closing the lid on the grill will heat it up faster.

A lot faster.

So fast, in fact, that before you know it there’s billows of black smoke and char on your window.

And your paint blisters and changes from white to black with an edge of brown.

And you have to tell your husband that you sortof burnt the house.

And he takes away your grilling privileges for life.

Have you experienced a grill mishap? Please help me feel better about my serious and potentially dangerous blunder by sharing with me. Be safe, and enjoy all your perfectly cooked entrée items!

Dirt and Cheap Fencing

9
Apr

This week we got the garden puffed up with dirt (soil, for you dirt snobs :), and because I know you’re dying to know, it was a tri-blend mix from a landscaping place in our area) and decided we needed some kind of fence to go around it, mostly to slow down the children, dog and deer who may tramp through it.

We went through quite a few fencing ideas before we stumbled onto deer netting. It is a tough plastic net with small holes and is designed to keep deer out of your plants. It comes on a roll that cost $18 and is 7ft wide x 100 ft long. They sell it at most big box home/garden stores and the 7 ft width is folded in half in the roll. I think they intended people to set it over the top of said plants, but we went a different route.

We kept it doubled up, bought 4ft tall plastic fence stakes at $2 each, and just unwound the roll of deer netting around the perimeter of the garden. It isn’t going to keep the deer from jumping the fence, but I’m hoping they’ll have better things to do. I have to hang some ribbons from the fence because it is virtually invisible and the dog already almost ran straight into it! In the photo you can see the stakes but just barely make out the fencing. I’ll try to get a better pic soon.

I may be crazy but I took at chance and my fellow veggie garden partner and I planted potatoes, onions, and two kinds of climbing peas. I may have to baby them along next week, since it is supposed to get a bit chilly, but everything is up for grabs this year with the early spring weather we’ve had in Minnesota. How are your garden plans coming along?

Garden Sale at the State Fair Grounds

3
Apr

I plan to make a trip to the State Fair grounds on Mother’s Day this year. That is the weekend of the Friends School Plant Sale, and according to all indicators it’s a doozy.

People get there early and wait in line with their wagons and wheelbarrows. You must go in with a plan and a map, or you will miss out on getting some of the things you came for in the first place. We’ll see if I can wait until Mother’s Day for everything I’d like, but there are always more plants to stick in the garden somewhere, right? Here’s the link so you can check it out yourself:

http://friendsschoolplantsale.com/

Did I mention that my dirt arrived today? I never thought I’d be so excited to see a pile of dirt in my driveway!

How to Plan a New Garden

29
Mar

My family and I have now been in our new house for about one year. Last summer I was very responsible and only accomplished the following garden goals:

Uncover the brick path from house to garden (it was almost completely covered in grass)

Carefully and selectively weed the main flower garden in the rear so as not to weed actual plants

Slap forehead after I discover I destroyed valuable plants when I thought they were weeds

Create a small garden along driveway

Generally weed like crazy

Plant a few things (my “few” might look different to me than it does to you)

Lay out a walkway through the rear garden

Grow a few veggies in containers

Now that all that responsibility can be over with and more of the garden is identifiable, I’m pretty sure that this is the summer I can go to town on this yard.

We have a big yard (finally) and it has quite a bit of shade cover, which is why I have to be a bit stubborn about where I start a vegetable garden. My dear husband has a favorite option but I don’t think that location will provide enough light, and as we all know, a vegetable garden must get as much light as possible. But much of the sunniest portion of our yard is on a slight slope, so that adds a small potential twist.

I think I’ve found the answer though, and I’m so excited to get in there and dig! A wonderful friend of mine asked if I would be interested in doing a garden together with her, so I feel confident that I can accomplish this garden because I’ll have back-up. The strategy we are going to use is to plant a mounded garden rather than a traditional flat garden in skinny rows.

Edward C. Smith wrote the Vegetable Gardener’s Bible and in it he shows how a mounded garden supports root growth and leads to a superior yield, and even less weeding. I won’t go into that now, but seriously, if you haven’t heard of planting in anything but straight, flat rows, it’s definitely a trip to the library to check out his book.

Everything I’ve researched tells me that I would have been better to begin my garden preparation in the fall. Oops. I wasn’t ready in the fall! We were still watching the light and learning about our yard at that point. But if you want to be picky about it, I should have laid a garden hose out to deliniate the shape of the garden, chunked up the sod, flipped it over in the same spot with the dirt side up, and let nature get rid of the grass. I’m in for some hard work since I wasn’t ready to commit before.

A big item to be mindful of is to only plant what you’ll eat and don’t get all crazy and start too big. If you don’t eat what you grow, what’s the fun in growing it (in a vegetable garden)? And if you make a jumbotron garden right away, chances are that you’ll get overwhelmed and begin resenting it halfway through the season. Start with something managable and filled with yummy stuff your family likes!

Now the big dilema is whether to wait to start planting. It has been so unseasonably warm in Minnesota that a big part of me thinks I’m a fool to wait. Lettuce, broccoli and a few other things actually like the cold and so might do just fine now even if it does get cold again. But you can see me exercising my self control in the photo below because I’m only planting pansies…for now.

Rejection and Its Cousin, Failure

28
Mar

Have you ever been rejected? I mean, really rejected? I am staring serious rejection in the face and have realized that it is more than just simple rejection involved in the process of being rejected; it is also a facet of failure. To be rejected, one has to have failed in some way, to have been found lacking necessary attributes or be deemed unable to perform certain tasks adequately. This can be in a romantic relationship, a friendship, at work, at school, at home, almost anywhere you are, because part of rejection and failure is a falling short of the goal you had for yourself as well, and not only superimposed from outside yourself.

I’m curious about your experiences with rejection or failure and how you dealt with it. Did you hole up with a quart of ice cream (or my favorite: cookie dough)? Did you take up running? Did you paint with dark colors? Did you cry? Did you yell? Did it help to talk about it or did you have to process it internally? It looks different for each person, but I’m interested to hear from your perspective. I welcome your comments!

The Changing Blogosphere

27
Mar

When I thought about starting a blog, I considered some of the few blogs I followed. What was it about them I liked? What kept me coming back? Honestly, I’m picky and don’t desire to use much of my discretionary time online (except to check Facebook but that doesn’t count, does it?) so I haven’t subscribed to many blogs, but when I evaluate the common themes among my few subscriptions, I discovered something that influenced my own approach to blogging.

Initially the people I followed posted thoughtful, long-ish posts but infrequently, effectively consolidating the time I would have spent over a longer span into one post that took longer to read, but also offered a more complete and thorough treatment of an idea. But something has been happening lately, and I’ve noticed more blogs with short, one-quick-thought posts (which made me think of Mike Meyers dressed in drag on SNL when he told us to “talk amongst ourselves, I’ll give you a topic: the Roman Parthenon was neither Roman nor a Parthenon. Discuss.”), almost a thought jogger, if you will. And maybe that’s the kind of time people have: just enough to suggest a topic, let it percolate in the mind of a reader, and create a place for discussion of said topic if people wish.

The scary thing about that kind of “format” is that it assumes the blog has lots of readers and commenters (commentators?). What if you put an idea out there and no one says anything about it, or worse, nobody sees it at all? Even if that terrible event occurs, I think it is still worth it if merely for the exercise of taking a thought from inside my head and translating it into words on a page.

I’m going to try and shift my expectation for what my blog posts look like, try to make them shorter (and maybe sweeter) and I’d welcome your responses. This is, of course, ignoring the fact that it is warm here now and my garden is calling to me and spring kids activities are going to kick off soon, but a person can try, right? You’ll hear from me again soon!

Organic Milk: Worth the Money?

28
Feb

Don’t stress out, Dear Reader, I don’t have my soapbox at the ready and I’m not trying to convert anyone to anything here. But my husband and I have recently experienced a change of heart about some of our eating habits, as many people have lately, and I thought I would share about one point in particular: milk.

At our house, we drink a lot of milk. Scratch that — my boys drink a lot of milk and I do a fair amount of baking and cooking with it. I know that almost all milk is now “made” without growth hormones, but we got to thinking about what the cows are fed, the conditions in which the animals are living, along with what other chemicals that may be permissible in the cows, things needed to keep the animals healthy when they live in tight quarters. Because we want healthy kids and the thought of them ingesting antibiotics unnecessarily is disturbing (as is the thought of cannibalistic cows), so we started buying organic milk.

We checked it out, wanting to make sure someone wasn’t just slapping on a stamp that said “organic” which allowed them to do nothing different in the production but let them jack up the price. There are differences in the standards, just as there are differences in the standards for eggs, with some marketed as organic AND naturally fed (as opposed to being fed stuff they don’t naturally eat…like other animals) rather than just organic. They are getting better standards overall, but to be totally honest, we were sortof hoping for a way out of spending the extra cash.

The more we looked into it, however, the more convinced we became that this would be a wise use of our money and occasional inconvenience. We can get a package from Costco that has three separate 1/2 gallon containers and I think it costs about $10. That is pricey for us, when we could still shop at Costco and pay $3 for a gallon of regular milk. We probably go through about three gallons of milk a week. Ouch. We may have to rethink that tradition of Swedish Pancakes on Saturday mornings because it uses up four cups of milk in one sitting! Still, we decided that the benefits outweigh the costs.

That doesn’t mean I give milk to my kids as readily as I used to. I’m way cheaper than that! They already had to guzzle down a cup of water before I’d give them milk anyway, and now sometimes we forego the milk altogether. That also goes along with a changing awareness of where all our food comes from, the conditions it has been raised in, be it vegetable or animal, the role of marketing and lobbies in what things we think are supposed to be good for us, and a sense of personal responsibility (read: guilt?) for the consumerism of the United States, myself completely included. We’ve also started eating less meat in general, or using it as more of a “side dish” rather than the main event. Everyone is still growing and staying healthy (except for that terrible bout of the stomach flu we had a week ago, but that was unrelated since on one day there were 150 kids out sick from our elementary school). And it feels better to know that we are being awake and mindful of such a mundane but necessary part of our lives.

I’ve included a link so you could take a look at what the LA Times said about this recently. I’d love to hear your thoughts about the whole organic movement. Hope to hear from you!

http://articles.latimes.com/2010/feb/13/business/la-fi-dairy13-2010feb13