Wavy Wild Hair – Let It Run Free!

9
May

This post was previously published (by me) last fall. It is raining here in Minnesota, which give my hair a new level of intensity. I thought I’d share again just for some fun. Wavy-haired girls unite!

When I had my third child, my hair went cuckoo. I had heard the legend of straight hair that turned curly because of pregnancy, but I thought it was one of those super rare occurrences. But my hair went from being straight with a little bit of a cowlick (what a word!) in a couple places, to being full blown wavy all over. It has also gotten long-ish, and this has led to various comparisons.

Such as Steven Tyler from Aerosmith.

Such as Eddie Vedder.

Such as Christopher Lloyd playing Doc Brown in Back to the Future.

Such as a male lion.

Such as a late-1980’s Tina Turner.

I wish I could argue with any of these comparisons, but they are all spot on. The funny thing about it is…

I don’t mind.

I am a child of the 1980’s so for me, the bigger, the better. I can’t deny my roots, my foundational years when the pop idols were men with long hair, rockin’ Hair Bands and the female band Heart. Come on, you expect me to flat iron this puff of wonder? You want me to undo what previously would have taken me an hour of work, or the trouble of sleeping with braids all over my head, a rat-tail comb and a cloud of Aqua-Net? Puh-leaze.

In honor of hair kooky-ness, here’s a clip that discusses various hair styles (I can only vouch for the first minute or two, but I laughed so dang hard I had to share it). Enjoy.

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/zach-monologue/1207090

P.S. If you have wavy hair, feel free to chime in with tips to subdue or quiet the beast, but don’t trouble yourself with any flat iron techniques because they will be wasted on me. 🙂

Can We Talk? Questions about the Bible

7
May

Bible Study 2 (Photo credit: DrGBB)

I’m starting a new occasional series called Can We Talk? The plan is to address questions that we often times don’t want to bring up because of the reaction we expect. This is a place to discuss those important (and probably some unimportant) issues that ruffle people’s feathers. Our first topic? The Bible.

May I ask you some honest questions about the Bible?

Would you be willing to actually entertain these questions, not just give an automatic rebuttal because you fear one question might lead to an undoing of a whole belief system?

I already know I’m supposed to accept some things on faith.

I already know His ways are not our ways.

I already know one day for us could be like a thousand years for Him.

Sometimes it seems that if a person is allowed to voice their observations about inconsistencies, bizzare-ities or just straight-up contradictions in the Bible, people feel threatened by it, as if the questions are a leaking contagion of unbelief that can spread with the faintest breathing of a question. It’s airborne, you know.

But can we admit that some of the stuff in the Bible is just plain weird?

For example, why would God send a plague of snakes to bite the Israelites, whom He had just brought out of Egypt, and the remedy? Look at a bronze snake on a stick. Does that not seem like He is asking them to make and worship an idol? But when they make a bronze calf of their own, He gets mightily mad and people get smote.

If that one’s not your cup of tea, how about the commandment against murder? I realize that you could argue what type of offense could equal murder (first degree, premeditated, etc.) but it seems to me that war is murder on a huge scale. God sends the Israelites to war lots of times, and the Bible is very matter of fact about how hard the Israelites won. Sometimes they won war huge.

“That’s all Old Testament stuff,” you object. “Nobody gets that stuff. Just focus on the New Testament.”

Is that fair?

I think it’s pretty typical of Christians. We focus on the Jesus stuff and ignore the messy, inconsistent and confusing stuff that comes before. Ignoring the entire first half of the Bible only gives part of the picture. (We also forget that Jesus was Jewish, but that’s something for another day.)

Please allow me to mention a concept that might make sense of the Old Testament if you’ve ever been tempted to pitch it in favor of a slimmed down, easy to pack, New-Testament-only Bible. I don’t know if it is a cop out or a perfect explanation.

Image from the Book of Kells, a 1200 year old book. Category:Illuminated manuscript images (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Progressive Revelation.

Don’t let it give you the heebie jeebies, folks. It doesn’t bite.

Is it intellectually tenable that God would reveal Himself in ways a society could comprehend, woo them by speaking their language and then, when they’ve acclimatized to the existence of God, reveal a little more about Himself, something that is a little different than what they’re used to? It’s not a bait and switch. It’s more like not revealing everything about yourself on a first date.

I’m sure some people would push this past the traditional cannon of the Bible and say that if it is allowed that progressive revelation is a possibility, that opens up future revelation, in that Christ is not the end game. Could someone else claim on this premise to be the next revelation of God? Probably, and some probably have (would Mormanism possibly fit this category?). Does that mean the principle is faulty? I don’t think so…but I’m still trying to figure out all the implications.

I’m not questioning Jesus’ death and resurrection, sacrifice and redemption of humankind, but I don’t think it automatically diminishes the Bible’s potency if some of it is metaphorical. Maybe we can agree that the Bible might not have to be taken literally in order to be just as valid, the principles just as important, the person of Christ just as redemptive.

What do you think? Do you think much about the Bible? Do you accept it as being completely literal? Do you pay much attention to the Old Testament?

Five Minute Friday: Brave

3
May

I’m loving these Five Minute Fridays. Each week, Lisa-Jo Baker (http://lisajobaker.com) chooses a word prompt and people write unedited for five minutes flat. The idea is for me to get out of my own way and just write without the burden of perfection. It’s been fun to meet other bloggers and see the different ways people go with the prompt. Anyone can be a part of the action, so maybe you want to try and link up sometime soon?

Five Minute Friday

Courage (Photo credit: Pete Reed)

Prompt: Brave

One of my friends, a curly-haired henna head, is a gifted artist and performer. She says and does things that other people would never dream of doing. For her, it is no big deal to get in front of people and say outrageous things that are both hilarious and inappropriate (maybe that’s why they are so funny?).

Another friend is quiet and reserved. She serves behind the scenes and avoids any extra attention. She’s thoughtful and considerate.

What might send my one friend thrills of excitement would send my other friend to the bathroom with dry heaves.

Here is a good general principle I’ve found: what is a brave step for one person is easily accomplished before breakfast for someone else. Courage comes when you push past fear to do the thing that scares you.

Putting the pen to paper may be a huge step of bravery for one person.

Saying aloud the question they’ve had in their minds may be that step for someone else.

Just opening a search for a new job may be a huge act of faith, regardless of whether an interview is ever secured.

For me, today, my act of bravery is to say aloud that as a Christian, I do not have all the answers. I’m starting to think that the Bible might not have something literal to say about every single aspect of the nuances of modern life.

I do not feel comfortable with the representation the loudest voices are making on my behalf.

I’m tired of hearing about “speaking the truth in love” to people with whom there is no relationship, which would give the slightest responsibility to speak that truth.

I’m tired of the Church being a force of marginalization, polarization and alienation.

I want to be a source of absurd grace, which I truly see in the example of Jesus. So why does it feel like an act of bravery to say that out loud? Maybe it is because the Church only lets grace apply to certain areas of life and not others. Maybe there is an unspoken understanding that there really is a hierarchy of sins, and that some acts are worse than others. So your act of homosexuality, abortion or being a female leader takes up more of the apparently exhaustible bounty of Christ’s grace than my selfishness, envy or gossip. Don’t bogart the grace, man. Is that really what we believe? Cause that’s what it looks like. God’s love is not a limited commodity.

Whew. Well, that came out of nowhere! Thanks for letting me share from the heart. Apparently this is what happens when I silence my inner editor/censor. Putting this out into the world really does scare me, but I am being brave today, hoping we can start a respectful conversation.

What is your reaction to this post? Do you have opinions or feelings about “absurd grace” or the idea of a hierarchy of sins? I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences. And as always, thanks for reading!

My Problem With Princesses

30
Apr

Disney Princess Realness. (Photo credit: partymonstrrrr)

Some people have a problem with princesses. They think princesses are fluffy, vaporous, weak, voiceless or inconsequential. Maybe they think of a prissy girl who whines to get her way or is spoiled and adverse to work, ala Nellie Oleson from Little House on the Prairie. Remember Nellie and her Nellie curls?

I can see their point. Princess conjures up images of a child in too many crinolines who turns up her nose at cucumber sandwiches with the crusts cut off.

We generally don’t think of princesses as being people of power or influence. They’re more people of manipulation, pawns to be traded in marriage for treaties with other lands, demure fragile creatures who frequently made use of smelling salts and schemes to get the prettiest ribbons.

Not exactly a flattering picture is it?

It’s no wonder the idea gets dismissed.

There are a lot of women in Christian circles trying to reclaim their self-esteem and identity by taking on the mantle of royalty. The idea is that if one follows God and identifies as a daughter of God, also called the King of Glory, that relationship makes her a princess. In a lot of ways this shift in attitude helps people have more self-respect and approach the world with more confidence.

If “princess” conjures up fragility, fickleness or being trapped in a tower waiting to be saved by someone else, this role will not work for you.

Super Blast Princess Daisy, Flicker

When I think of princesses, sometimes I imagine someone more along the lines of one of the Charlie’s Angels or Lara Croft. Powerful, feminine, intelligent and strong…okay Cameron Diaz’s character wasn’t too smart, but she had other strengths.

When female Christians try to claim an identity as princesses, I admit it rubs me the wrong way. It sounds corny or as if they didn’t get to live out their princess-y dreams of childhood. And with all the glitter and “Pink” written across in velour across shapely backsides, I can understand the hesitation to identify with the old version of princess.

Plus, I’m an adult. I don’t need to regress into being a sequin-clad toddler diva who gets animal crackers with pink icing, picks out only the giraffes because they’re my favorite (they’re not – I tend to favor the hippos and elephants) and throws tantrums to get my way.

However,

I don’t know of many women who don’t want to be made to feel special.

Valued,Beautiful,

Worth listening to,

With a perspective that is worthwhile and valid.

There are times when we who follow Jesus need to have an attitude check about how we view ourselves and whether we’re accurately honoring our heritage of being adopted into God’s family. Most times that has to do with relation to the world around us, but it is an internal exercise as well. How do we view and treat ourselves? Are we treating ourselves with respect? What kind of messages are we giving ourselves during that internal dialogue that’s constantly running in our heads?

Maybe princess isn’t the right term.

Maybe queen…

Hmmm…that might not work.

What about Secretary of State, or Madame Speaker? Madame Pope?

None of those are quite right either.

CEO doesn’t do it, nor does Mother.

So until someone comes up with a term that adequately sums up the struggle of being heard despite being a female, being seen as having a relevant voice despite having breasts, being intelligent as well being able to express emotions, princess might have to do it for us,

For now…

Unless the word “woman” is the term we’ve been looking for all along. Then it might be staring at us from our own mirrors and we’re just not able to recognize it yet.

Do you think “princess” is the right word to identify the women in your life? Do you ever have to wrestle down negative messages about yourself? How do you accomplish it? How can you treat yourself with love today?

Five Minute Friday: Friend

26
Apr

This post is part of Five Minute Friday, a link up through www.lisajobaker.com . If you’re here as a part of it, hello! and thanks for stopping by! You can find out more on her website, but here’s a quick summary of what Five Minute Friday is:

It started because I’d been thinking about writing and how often our perfectionism gets in the way of our words. And I figured, why not take 5 minutes and see what comes out: not a perfect post, not a profound post, just five minutes of focused writing.

Today’s prompt is the word Friend.

***

I’ve been the new girl a lot. Growing up we moved a few times (nothing compared to a military brat – those kids have it hard) and not always at easy transition points. Even saying that, though, I realize that over time I’ve adopted the role of being the new girl as part of my historical identity, and that has given me a gift, whether I was the new girl all that much or not.

My gift?

Aren’t we fancy with our 1990’s hair?

Making friends.

I don’t mind making new friends.

And being someone who has had to make new friends has given me an eye for being the new girl.

I notice it a lot at church.

The things people take for granted at church are astounding. If you are the new girl at a church, you probably don’t know the layout of the building, therefore signs or lables are very helpful. Friendly greeters or people with a girft of saying hello are extremely helpful. It’s important to cultivate an environment of hospitality. (Am I supposed to take communion if I accidentally come when it is being served? Do you guys charge for donuts and will I get the cold stare if I don’t put a quarter in your little wicker basket?) Use terminology that everyone can understand.

Church friends can be the best friends because they share a common value of investing in spiritual life and making time for it each week. On the flip side, churches have cliques just like high schools, and coming into a new church can be an intimidating experience.

Do you have an eye for what new people see when they enter your church or place of worship? Is it a place where new people feel welcomed?

Why I’m Okay with a Little Sass From My Son

24
Apr

Today I’m so happy to tell you about my sassy son who sasses me while drinking a cold glass of sasafrass in the tall grass. Okay let’s be done with that. I apologize. But I am posting over at my friend’s fantastic blog, Chris Morris Writes. And I really am writing about my son, who is developing a little bit of pre-tween attitude (is pre-tween a term? I should copyright that quick!).

Please click here http://wp.me/p3eHCc-dr to read my post, and while you’re there, be sure to dig into other posts Chris has up. He has a unique perspective and is a real stand-up guy. I know you’ll love his blog.

Changing Your Mind: Waffling vs. Maturity

22
Apr

We’ll also call this post Waffle-Eating Waffle Heads, just for fun.

Changing your mind might not be a sign of a weak position.

In politics we view with disdain a candidate changing his/her position on an issue. It is sometimes seen as a weakness or lack of understanding of political complexities. However, the ability to hold a new and opposing position alongside one already believed is actually an indicator of a growing ability to reason (maybe not in politics, since how much actual reason is used in that arena??).

There are a lot of people who cannot do this. Tons of them.

There are many people who, once they come to a conclusion, are unwilling to hear about anything that contradicts that conclusion.

You run into this a lot in Christian circles.

Take for example, the topic of women in leadership.

Okay, I know they aren’t waffles. They’re Swedish Pancakes. But they’re also a tasty breakfast food!

Many people have feelings about this. Feelings they hold deeply because the implications of changing a view affects their world with a ripple, like fluffing air under a sheet when you’re making the bed.

If women have a right to be in leadership, what positions of leadership? Is there a top end? Is it an arbitrary top end or is there Biblical evidence for it? Could there be a female Pope? What about women in leadership roles outside the church? Oh no, is this going to affect my interactions with that woman in middle management at work, the one I’ve given passive aggressive attitude all these years? Will this have implications for the way I parent with my spouse? You know what? Forget it. Entertaining this new idea is too much work.

Too much work.

And it is work, but remember what that used to be like? Try to remember times when the world was opening up to you, when you found out about new ideas, more efficient strategies for organizing information, totally world-changing theories or worldviews that you had to work to understand. It was at once an exciting and threatening time, because your previously held views were being challenged.Why do adults think that once they hit a certain age their thoughts and beliefs must be set in cement?

I understand that it is important to know ones values and figure out the main tenants of your approach to life. But in the details, in the subtle ways our thoughts inform our attitudes, isn’t it fair to think there could be continued maturation and growth?

Rather than being intimidated or threatened by new ideas, I really think it is healthy to allow yourself to entertain new concepts. Just considering a new idea or belief doesn’t make you a heretic nor does it disvalue the beliefs you already hold. It does show evidence of a mature intellect that can see the merit in something that was previously unknown or misunderstood. You might be shocked to learn that in many instances…

People who hold beliefs that are different than yours hold those beliefs for a reason, often reasons that are as well-thought-out as the beliefs you hold.

I’m a big believer in conversations. We can all learn something from talking to other people, finding out what they think and why. New ideas don’t have to be scary or intimidating, and they can even solidify the reasons why you hold the beliefs you do.

On that note, let’s talk! What changes have you had in your approach to the world? In what ways have you changed your mind over time?

Five Minute Friday: Jump

19
Apr

Lately I’ve been participating in Five Minute Fridays, a blog link up hosted by Lisa Jo Baker. She gives a word prompt to inspire you and you write, unedited (mostly) for five minutes. You can read other posts at www.lisajobaker.com . Here are the details:

On Fridays around these parts we like to write. Not for comments or traffic or anyone else’s agenda. But for pure love of the written word. For joy at the sound of syllables, sentences and paragraphs all strung together by the voice of the speaker.

We love to just write without worrying if it’s just right or not. For five minutes flat.

***

Feel the tension build in your legs then s-p-r-ING you up and out.

Feel the wind rush past your ears.

Feel the absence of weight and worry.

There is no fear, no moment but this.

Why can’t we abandon ourselves to leap this way? To jump into the waiting arms of our father, who treads water just past the end of the diving board.

We are paralyzed at the edge of the cliff, count ourselves down over and over before we almost lose our balance and retreat to safety.

What if we would let ourselves fall? What would we risk? A physical injury? Humilation? Failure? Or might we find flight? If we dared to set aside our excuses and busybody schedules and made space for the dream, could we discover we have wings?

Would it be a state of suspended animation if our wings didn’t unfurl immediately?

Would we hang in midair like an osprey who hovers over her watery prey? Or would we become comical, like Wile E. Coyote, legs spinning but getting nowhere?

Even if we crashed and burned, belly-flopped, tanked, yard sale or did a face-plant, I like to think the moment of flight and freedom would be worth it.

***

Question: have you ever failed horribly? What risks have you taken lately?

Poetry E-Book Now Available (And Awesome)

18
Apr

I like free. Do you like free? Who doesn’t like free? I mean, come on! Well, have I got a deal for you… *end used car salesman shtick*

But really, I want to tell you about a fun adventure, the fruits of which you might enjoy.

If you’re a super quick blog skimmer, here’s the link, so you won’t even have to scroll down. Am I helpful or what?! http://gabrielgadfly.com/writestuff/ You’re welcome. 🙂

I’m a part of a writers group on Facebook, Writers Unite. I hope I’ve mentioned it here before, because if you are looking for a fantastic group of committed writers, Writers Unite is the place for you. People are supportive, encouraging, collegial, funny and have a wealth of knowledge. They host a Twitter chat party on Tuesday nights that you can find (if you’re interested) using the hashtag #writestuff .

(Just a little aside, but are we connected on Twitter? If not, click the sidebar over here ——————> and we can join efforts in taking over the world.)

Okay, moving on. This group of writers opened up an opportunity to submit a poem and have it critiqued and considered for a free poetry e-book they put together.

It was gutsy, by my standards, but I went for it and submitted a poem. Note: I am not a poet. And I know it. (Stop stop, my sides hurt I’m laughing so hard.)

But I somehow tricked them into liking what I wrote. They offered some suggestions of things that weren’t as effective, I changed some things, and it actually made it into the collection!

!!!

That’s the adventure. That’s the story. Here’s the link so you can download your free FREE free copy today. And you should know that many of the people who submitted are also bloggers and writers, so try to look them up and check out their work around the interwebs.

As always, thank you so much for reading and following. I genuinely appreciate it. Whoops! The link: http://gabrielgadfly.com/writestuff/

Poetry (Photo credit: Kimli)

Visiting My Neighbor

17
Apr

Today I’m guest posting over at Pen Paper Pad. I’d love it if you’d stop by and check it out. T.A. Woods is an insightful poet with a sense of adventure (who else would move from out east all the way to Hawaii??) and a great sense of humor. After you’ve read my post, be sure to dig around her blog. You’ll find all sorts of goodies there!

Here’s the link to my post on her blog:

http://penpaperpad.com/2013/04/guest-post-poetry-for-all-my-friends/