New Twist on A Plant I Ignored: Impatiens

10
Jun

Our yard has a lot of shade. We are lucky to have a lot of trees, which gives us a sense of privacy even though we don’t live on a secluded estate. There are three areas we have flowers, and all three have more shade than sun. I’m not used to this – up to now I’ve been gathering information about plants for hot, dry areas, plants that can handle life without a lot of babying from me. But I’m building up my shade repertoire and finding a whole new family of flowers.

Impatiens are a group of plants that work in the shade without any babying. Before you roll your eyes and click over to a site with sunflowers and prairie blazing star, you must know that Impatiens are not all the flat, uninteresting flowers you might be picturing. Impatiens come in a variety of colors and their shapes and shadings widely vary.

Also, don’t be a dork like me and go through life thinking they are called “impatients” because when you find out your mistake, you’ll feel a little silly.

These colorful flowers will bloom all season, aren’t picky about soil conditions, and as long as you keep them out of direct burning afternoon sun, they’ll remain agreeable. They are not hardy here in Minnesota, but they make a fantastic annual. Here are some of the other ones I picked up this year:

(Just a side note if you are interested, I took these photos with Instagram. If you use it too, I’d love to connect there. On Instagram I go by: writermama1999.)

I’d love to hear any other shade loving plants you’ve found. I have a few more to share but they aren’t blooming yet, due to our cool spring and delayed summer. I hope to feature them in the future. Do you have favorite flowers you are drawn to year after year?

Five Minute Friday: Fall

7
Jun

This is after it’s been tidied. Scary.

There are tumbleweeds of dog fur in the corner next to the buffet, the surface of which is covered in papers, pencil boxes and mail, rendering the buffet virtually undetectable.

There is an un-emptied suitcase at the foot of our bed from a trip taken three weeks ago. It’s not that I don’t need the clothes that might be in the suitcase, it’s that I’ve worn the same jeans every day this week, and that makes for a much lighter laundry load.

The children are required to make a path through their rooms from the door to their beds so I don’t trip on stuff, should they need me in the middle of the night. But as for putting away these items, it hasn’t happened lately.

My oldest son was supposed to have a friend over but I forgot to call the parent and solidify details. The gift we bought for our favorite teacher is still sitting on my kitchen counter — school was done last week.

If you wash the rugs in the bathroom, it makes it look like you have probably washed the actual floor.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/67774014@N00/7438145050

Why do I get bothered by these and other things I see as indicators of my own shortcomings?

Why do I expect certain things from myself that I wouldn’t expect from any one else?

In reverse, I make excuses for the things I have done. I made scones for a friend’s visit this week. She complimented them and I downplayed it. Even though it has been raining and generally icky outside, I have managed to split hostas, remove grass and replant or pot up at least 20 plants. But it doesn’t seem like a drop in the bucket compared to the other things on my list, so I decide that effort doesn’t count.What if we all, specifically all of us women and/or mothers, decided to cut ourselves some slack? What if we admitted that we don’t have to have it all figured out every moment of every day? What if we stopped expecting perfection from ourselves?

If that happened, I think we would start to realize no one expected it from us, that it was self-imposed.

And besides, no one was buying the image of perfection we thought we projected.

Let’s allow the façade to fall away and reveal the real imperfect us – quirky, overwhelmed, loving, strong, flawed, fully-human us. And we are amazing. We are beautiful.

This post is part of a link up with Lisa-jo Baker and Five Minute Friday. Check out all the details here: http://lisajobaker.com/ It is open to anyone. Come shake yourself out of the shackles of self-critique and write for the sheer pleasure of it. Today’s word prompt was Fall.

Fear, Waiting and Feeling A Fraud

3
Jun

Harp (Photo credit: spike55151)

It was a strange emotion, one that I couldn’t easily identify. It felt like a physical shift had taken place, like something had snapped off in my heart. It left a dull ache, a shortness of breath.

One moment I was fine, feeling confident and positive.

The next I felt hollow, as if someone had just let me in on a joke, and I was the butt of it.

I was the butt.

In trying to trace it back to its source, there was a conversation, the one when I was supposed to be thinking about new ways to develop my writing, except that 90% of the suggestions were things I already do naturally. So not only am I a know-it-all, now I’m a snob since I feel like I’ve got it pretty well figured out. Not that my novel’s published but I am on the right track.

It might have stemmed from the music on the radio, a harpist in the background playing a fairly simple, repetitive riff that was lovely and making the harpist millions. “I could do that,” I thought. And then it hit me: maybe I couldn’t do that. Maybe, although I play the harp and have since childhood, maybe I could never be that person who revels in being onstage, performing under pressure that way.

And that was it. The cogs clicked into place.

Maybe I’m a fraud.

Maybe I just think I’m a writer.

Maybe I just think I’m a good harpist.

Maybe I like the image of those roles and the sense of being set apart from regular, workadayjob people. If I can say I’m working on an article or preparing for a “gig” (see? even that sounds pretentious doesn’t it?) then I am doing something worthwhile, something more than simply being a stay at home mom.

In response to a failed attempt to make a tiger mask for my daughter’s school program, a dear friend gently pointed out that I can be domestic and not be crafty. WHAT?? I’m not crafty??

In the same way, I’m afraid that somewhere down the line a friend will gently pull me aside and tell me I’m more of an amateur writer than one with professional potential. That’s where the fear kicks in, when I think I’m on the road to being a writer and could discover, after I’ve worn out five pair of shoes, that I’ve been deluding myself this whole time, that I’m a dabbler not an author.

The harp thing, I can take that or lose it. I know that I was a skilled musician at one time, and in order to be one it takes a big investment of time and energy (having a pedal harp doesn’t hurt either). I don’t choose to invest my time that way now. I enjoy the music, I value music, but I don’t have to be the one playing it to benefit from it.

Is writing the same thing?

Will I look back on this time, shake my head and chuckle at my grandiose aspirations?

Possibly.

However, even while it is terrifying to say it out loud, I think I will always be glad I invested my time and energy in pursuing this dream. I don’t belittle the time I spent pursuing music, even though I don’t play in an orchestra or prestigious ensemble now. Why must a person continue the same activity over an entire life-span for it to count as a valid pursuit? Is it enough that a person put her whole heart into an endeavor, no matter how long that endeavor lasted?

I may be the butt of the joke, I may not realize how tiny I am or how microscopically small my chances are of being published, but isn’t it better to go after something with passion rather than sit idly by on the side-lines? What’s that phrase? Go Big or Go Home.

So even while it scares me and I think I may end up being a statistic,

I’m willing to invest time and energy in something I love doing, something that brings connection and joy, is a creative outlet and a salve for mind and soul, even if it ends up being for my own health and well-being. Even if people choose to look at my attempts as a joke,

I am willing to be the butt of that joke.

I’m going to be the biggest, best butt you ever did see.

Do you have any dreams that are taking a long time to happen? What do you do to counter-act fear in your life?

Invest in the end of the School Year

30
May

I want to tell you about something I’m doing, something worthwhile. You’re probably doing it too, and if you’re not, there’s probably still time to begin.

It’s not a big deal from the outside, except that it can be misinterpreted and look like something it’s not. It can look eerily similar to doing less rather than more.

I’m not the only one doing it, but I know that it can feel like a sacrifice, even while being a worthy, pleasant and chosen sacrifice.

What am I doing?

The school year is almost done and I’m pulling away from some of my own goals in order to be a part of my children’s special school activities.

See?

Elementary School Track & Field Day

It’s not a huge thing, right…or is it?

It doesn’t look identical to my version, but you’re probably doing this too in your own way, which is why I want to encourage and acknowledge your effort to be a part of your child’s life, education, friends and memories. Sometimes while we’re there, it seems like our kids don’t really care that we’re a part of that field trip or class party. But later on, when things have quieted and you have a moment together, they’ll probably let you know they were glad you took the time to be there.

Of course you want to be there, in theory.

Of course you want to know their teachers and friends.

Sometimes you can shuffle responsibilities and be at that pizza party, other times it can’t be done.

Sometimes doing what it takes to be there leaves you stressed and sweating.

Sometimes being there is a lot like work. And it can take away from time spent in other areas, even compounding tasks you had to leave for later.

It is worth it.

What if your kids are already on a break from school? You can still start doing nothing, or should I say, you can start being with your kids and put other agenda items on hold for a while. Maybe the beginning of summer break isn’t the best time to do that big clean-out-the-garage project. Maybe with all the kids home you don’t want to begin work on that novel you’ve been itching to write. Perhaps training for that marathon could wait a few weeks or until a different season so it wouldn’t have to take away the time spent with your kids and family.

Even if your child just wants to line up toys, doing it together is a gift.

So great job, friends, for doing less in certain areas so you can be more with your family. I know it isn’t easy, but when you reflect on your own growing-up years, most of us would probably have a new appreciation for the work it took to create positive memories and be present throughout the long but quick days of those foundational years. Be that invested parent. Be the parent you hoped you would be before you actually became one. It’s work, sure, but it is so worth it.

How do you best connect with your family? Are you satisfied with your relationships there, or are there steps you can take to foster deeper connection?

Visiting My Neighbor: A Guest Post for Tim Gallen

29
May

Today I’m over at Tim Gallen’s site, writing about silence. If you know me personally you might think I’m the last person to write about silence – I tend to whistle, hum, talk to inanimate objects, just generally make a racket as I move through life. But today’s post is about that silence you hear (wait a minute, can you hear the absence of sound??) when waiting.

Tim’s a great guy with a hilarious sense of humor and tons of creativity. I’d love it if you’d take your sweet little fingers and click over to check out my post. While you’re there, be sure to look around because I’m confident you’ll find lots of fun things to read and consider. Here’s the link, and feel free to tell all your friends! http://timgallen.com/when-silence-aint-golden/

Five Minute Friday: View

24
May

This blog post is part of a link up with Lisa-jo Baker. Anyone can be a part of it! Just check out Lisa-jo’s site (http://lisajobaker.com) for the word prompt and further instructions. The idea is to write for five minutes with out constantly editing or second guessing ourselves. It’s a supportive, positive community, and I’ve been blessed just by dabbling my toe into it.

Louie was a goofy friend of mine in seventh grade. He always wore a white baseball cap, most time paired with a turtleneck and a hockey jersey (I never did figure out why the turtlenecks). He was tall and gangly, with a fountain of brown bangs and a very prominent (read: big) nose.

Not the first hottie you’d notice.

But he was so funny.

He was generous and helpful. Louie was kindhearted.

When you’d known him more than a day you realized how handsome he was, how unique and athletic, how his brown eyes were warm, his height and stature comforting. Suddenly Louie was quite a looker.

I’ve started to wonder how other people look at me, not so much physically but how they view my dreams, my aspirations and quirks, probably because lately I’ve run into so many roadblocks and rejections.

Do they play along with my goals, no one willing to tell me I’m being unrealistic?

Do they pat me on the head and humor me so they won’t hurt my feelings?

Do I look different from the outside than I do to myself?

Does it matter what the view is, except that it comes from the One who made me who I am? The One in whom I am most fully myself?

It shouldn’t make any difference if I achieve “success” on earth if I have been faithful with what was given to me in the circumstances I’ve been placed. Sometimes, though, when I’m being really honest, the view from outside does matter to me.

It’s like the difference between current trend of ombre hair color and just being overdue for a trip to the salon so you have really bad roots. Or to use another hair analogy, it’s the difference between having beachy texture and a frizzy windblown mess. What if while I’m walking around thinking I’ve got it down and lookin’ good, everyone else can see that my dream is really a snarly hairdo in need of a comb and a dye job?

What are your dreams right now? How do you keep hope in a dream when it takes a long time to arrive? Most importantly, how do you maintain your focus on the One who made you?

Attractive waves or crazy mess? It’s a matter of opinion.

Some Light Entertainment For You

22
May

This is a busy time of year with lots of school activities and events — I hope you are all finding time to catch your breath and appreciate the little touches of grace and love around you.

There are a lot of topics knocking around in my head and they all vary wildly. On top of all that, I received some critiques on my writing which I’m still absorbing. All of that to say I’m feeling a bit reticent to write much this week. However, I don’t want you to think I’ve forgotten you, so I offer some photos for your entertainment this afternoon. Enjoy!

I saw this while running errands. I don’t think if I tried I could have made something look this accurate:

A giant has to stub out his cigarette someplace.

I love that someone took the time to write this out, just to remind us what time it is:

This is extra funny if you used to wear harem pants.

And for our final photo of the afternoon, I offer you my three favorite short people:

Fun at the Minnesota Children’s Museum

Please allow me to thank you for reading and for your comments. I appreciate all the wonderful people I’ve met here, and genuinely wish you all the best! Enjoy the rest of your afternoon. ~Blessings

Five Minute Friday: Song

17
May

Lisa-jo Baker organizes the Five Minute Friday activity. She gives a word prompt. You start your timer and write for five minutes. Then you post what you wrote and link it to her site. Boom. Done. It’s a great way to free yourself from constant internal editor mode and perfectionism, and it’s a great way to find new blogs and friends. This post is a part of that link up, which is open to anyone. Just check her site (http://lisa-jobaker.com) and you’ll find Five Minute Friday details.

Today’s prompt: Song

I promise that if you watch and read this post you will only invest about five minutes of your day. See? I’m sticking with the five minute theme! But in order for this post to make much sense, you’ll probably have to two minutes to watch this video I made today: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pjb5_LmFNzA

This post is such a great example of everyday life.

There’s a cartoon going in the background.

One of my harp strings buzzes each time I play it.

The dog wanders in and makes himself comfortable on the couch.

Not all the notes are exactly right.

And yet, the music still comes. The notes are still there, moving forward, conveying emotion and peace.

It doesn’t have to be perfect. In fact, sometimes it is better for not being perfect. But that’s taken me a long time to learn, particularly in the world of music but also in other realms. Marriage, parenting, friendship, church life, interactions at school, womanhood – I do none of these things perfectly, and yet they are still fulfilling, life-giving parts of my day, fully performed movements, like a song being written as it is played.

Being released from the pressure of perfection brings joy and freedom.

So even though this song is not my own composition (I don’t write music!) and even though it is not perfect, I offer it to you this morning, hiccups and meandering dog visits included. I hope you enjoy it.

Know Your Goal: The Elusive Yellow Sticker

15
May

My 2nd grader had “Sports Day” at school. In a bizarre exciting twist, it turned out to be 98 degrees for the outdoor event — or at least that’s what the weather people said it hit and it felt like they were right — when it had been a high of 60 the day before. These were intense conditions for Sports Day, but the kids had a lot of fun and the organizer had the good sense to pass out freezies to cool off the children at various times. She won extra points for that, in my opinion.

Sunscreen is supposed to go on ALL exposed parts

I helped pass out stickers at the Sit-up station, and I feel I did a very fine job. Here’s further evidence of my dedication: ——>>>

Yes, I know. I am a wonderful model of motherly sacrifice. Sorry, no autographs at this time.

I was also the crowd cheerleader, and inspired the children to come up with cheers of their own, maybe because they thought my cheers were too basic. They cheered for individual children’s names, fish, “feel the burn” and various colors. They were very creative. It’s probably because of the great example I set. I’m a very enthusiastic cheer-er.

An interesting phenomena occurred a couple times through the course of the day. Certain kids figured out that yellow was the color for the highest performance. Categories were orange, blue and yellow. People who went the farthest, dribbled the ball enough times, or completed the most earned a yellow sticker. Once they figured this out, kids would ask us how many sit-ups they had to do to earn a yellow sticker. Surprisingly, many of the children who asked this question went on to attain the elusive yellow badge of honor.

This started me thinking about goals. Is it beneficial to know the outcome you’re striving for before you begin so that you can push yourself to a certain level? If we know the cut-off for a certain goal, will we naturally aim only for that goal and no higher? Can I be content with a blue or orange sticker?

This year I decided to enter some writing contests. It wasn’t a written out and posted sort of goal, something stuck on my bathroom mirror to remind myself, but I wanted to get my writing out there for feedback.

Be careful what you wish for.

I have heard back from two of the four contests I entered and it was not with letters of congratulations. I didn’t even make it to the next round.

But technically, I met my goal. I entered. The goal wasn’t to win (good thing!), although that would be a lovely outcome.

Would it have served me to have a goal of winning a contest, of getting a yellow sticker? I don’t think so. I think I would feel my accomplishment of entering, which was a big step for me, would have been diminished. I’ve got room to improve, but I showed up, had fun and did my best.

I’m happy with my blue sticker for now, thank you very much.

What goals are you working toward right now? How will you know when you’ve met your goal, and how will you reward yourself?

Five Minute Friday: Comfort

10
May

This week’s prompt is: Comfort.

***

Cinch tight the soft cotton blanket until all his flailing parts are swaddled and he feels pulled together again.

Hum quiet tune while running fingertips over spine, shoulder blade, rib bones until breathing slows, deepens, and he drifts off to sleep.

Walk into a familiar room and hear greetings of old friends who have become family.

Heave sobs into pillow and feel warm hand, aching heart soothed with words of peace and hope.

Feel the wash of comfort making subside the fear and clenching of throat and stomach.

Comfort: peace, security, calm, confidence, understanding, connection.

Such a blessing to have, such a gift to offer.

Another form of love, both Divine and earthly.

***

Sortof free-write-y today, huh? Well, that’s what I came up with in five minutes. 🙂

This is part of a link up with Lisa-Jo Baker (http://lisa-jobaker.com) that happens every Friday for anyone who wants to participate. You can read more about it at her website, and I really suggest checking it out — there’s lots of fun blogs to discover!