My Sister made me clean out my Makeup (and I didn’t like It)

21
Oct

Do you have a hobby? Maybe you like to scrapbook or maybe you’re a duck hunter? Maybe you collect vintage cigar boxes or propagate orchids.

I have varied interests but there is one thing that seems to have risen to the top of my list:

The quest for the perfect lipstick.

I realize that by admitting this I may have immediately lost some of the points on my feminist leaderboard,

And it gets worse.

What started off as a quest for the perfect lipstick has expanded.

It has grown in size and scope.

Now rather than simply looking for a nice, longwearing, subtle shade that compliments my skin tone,

I’ve started looking for other makeup products that can give me the same buzz as finding a candidate for the perfect lipstick.

This isn’t all of it.

I know. It’s a problem.

In my defense, the photo you’ll see below represents ALL the makeup I own. Can you wear the same stuff in the dead of a Minnesota winter that you wear in the middle of a humid, sunny summer? I think not. Therefore, in my defense, it looks worse than it really is. I think.

My sister was so flabbergasted to discover the depths of my storehouses that she insisted we go through it together and clean out what I didn’t use anymore.

“What?” I said.

“Let’s get rid of the stuff you don’t need,” she suggested.

“What?” I said.

“Come on, bring it out here,” she bullied.

And that’s when I discovered that perhaps I have a little more than is reasonable to hang on to. Observe:

She’s sad and amazed…so is my niece.

Yes, a couple of those bags are empty, but at least one of them is filled to the gills.

In sorting through it all, we discovered that I had 16 eyeliners. 16. Some were worn down to the nub and needed to go. A couple of them were extremely similar in color…like almost exactly alike. So she made me get rid of those.

She’s bossy like that.

While we went through it I came to the conclusion that I like concealer and blush, a lot. In my defense, I have chronic dark undereye circles (and apparently I have bags too although I did not know about this problem until a peppy, unrepentant girl at a sales counter informed me of this ailment. ‘Come out from behind the safety of that counter and tell me that,’ I thought.) that take some attention and sometimes multiple products are the only way to make a dent.

That still doesn’t justify how many concealers I had.

There was some negotiating, some finagling on my part to make my sister see the merits of certain products.

You see, Rae is a minimalist.

Seriously.

She hardly bothers with makeup at all, and when she does she’s got five things to choose from in her tiny makeup bag.

I think I gave her four of those five items.

Therefore, Rae cannot grasp the necessity of two different types of bronzers.

“All you need is one,” she claims, as if she’d know.

And when I explain what a primer is, she has a look on her face that is both confused and longsuffering.

“How many mascaras does one person need?” She shifts subjects to keep me off balance, thinking I won’t notice that she just threw away the primer we were discussing. I’m wise to her tactics and while she’s helping my niece put on a string of pop-beads I fish out the primer from her “throw away” bag.

In the end, we got rid of a lot. It may not look like it in the picture, but this is now my entire arsenal of makeup, all seasons of the year represented:

She got rid of a couple more things after we took this picture (but I snuck them back into my bag when she wasn’t looking).

Rae asked me how I felt once we had completed the job. And I have to admit, it did feel good to clear out all the broken, worn out, bad color pieces from the collection. I gave my niece a couple things to play with, thus securing my spot as Best Auntie for the day. I felt lighter, more in control of my stuff rather than the other way around.

In truth, it bothered me to see how much money I had invested over time.

Maybe that was what made it hard to get rid of any of it — I knew I had paid money for it so I needed to justify it by keeping it…

Kindof backwards logic when you spell it out, huh?

In the future, I plan to keep better track of what I have, in order to spare myself the trouble of storing things I hardly even use, along with freeing up space in my mind and budget. And if I need to get rid of a couple things, I’ll probably pass them on to Rae. Lawd knows she has room in her makeup bag.

Do you have a quest for a perfect item, be it jeans, jacket, haircut or lipstick? How do you keep it in check? What do you stockpile that you could do without (or do with less)?

Five Minute Friday: Laundry

18
Oct

How could I NOT do Five Minute Friday with a word prompt of “laundry”? I have deep and abiding opinions about laundry, about the amount of laundry, the merits of wrinkle-free materials and the smelly allergy-triggers of strongly scented detergent.

When I saw the prompt, I knew I’d be doing Five Minute Friday this week. In case you’re not familiar with it, Five Minute Friday is a fun linkup with Lisa-jo Baker. She puts up a word prompt each week and the instructions are to just go for it. Don’t edit. Don’t get locked up. Don’t over-think it, just have fun and write whatever comes to mind in five minutes. Then linkup your post with others on her site: http://lisajobaker.com It is open to anyone who wants to participate. Maybe you want to try it out?

Ready?

Set?

Go!

“A little lifting up of the heart suffices; a little remembrance of God, an interior act of adoration, even though made on the march and with sword in hand, are prayers which, short though they may be, are nevertheless very pleasing to God, and far from making a soldier lose his courage on the most dangerous occasions, bolster it. Let him then think of God as much as possible so that he will gradually become accustomed to this little but holy exercise; no one will notice it and nothing is easier than to repeat often during the day these little acts of interior adoration.”

― Brother Lawrence, The Practice of the Presence of God

For many years now, laundry has been a frequent chore, a nearly every day occurance.

I don’t love laundry.

But I now longer hate it.

Many years ago I tried to shift my attitude about laundry.

My husband needed clean socks, and had none because I hadn’t done the laundry.

“Wash your own darn socks,” I thought.

We had already established a sharing of household chores and laundry fell to me. It wasn’t that he was incapable or unwilling to wash his own socks. We had agreed that I would do it.

In that period, I came to realize how nice it was for him to go to his drawer as he prepared for his day, and find clean socks.

Rainbow striped toe socks worn with thong sandals (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A little thing, really.

But the reason behind the socks changed,

because I changed.

I started viewing the laundry as an unspoken act of love.

I washed the socks, dried, folded and put away the socks because I love my husband.

Socks are my little love note left in his drawer every day.

The change came when I started to think of every little thing I did as being significant and tried “doing it all as unto the Lord” like the Bible suggests. Brother Lawrence also helped. Maybe worshipping God isn’t as hard as we try to make it.

“He does not ask much of us, merely a thought of Him from time to time, a little act of adoration, sometimes to ask for His grace, sometimes to offer Him your sufferings, at other times to thank Him for the graces, past and present, He has bestowed on you, in the midst of your troubles to take solace in Him as often as you can. Lift up your heart to Him during your meals and in company; the least little remembrance will always be the most pleasing to Him. One need not cry out very loudly; He is nearer to us than we think.”
― Brother Lawrence, The Practice of the Presence of God

STOP.

Your comments and suggestions are always welcome — I think that by sharing, we can help each other along in our journeys. How can you be aware of God’s presence as you go about the seemingly mundane things on your to-do list today? Is being aware of God’s presence something that comes naturally to you or does it take work? I hope you have an extra awareness of Him walking alongside you as you go about your day.

Getting Organized at Home, Final Part 3

16
Oct

We’ve talked about getting organized and tailoring your routines to match your needs. We’ve talked about tackling the things that bug you and working in small chunks of time. I’ve got one more realization to share with you, but before we get to that, I did a little investigative documentation yesterday.

After the kids got on the bus, I timed myself doing my normal routines. The one difference was that I stayed on task (not something I do easily) and did the chore uninterruptedly from start to finish. Here are my results:

Make bed and clean up bathroom (wiped down the sinks, mirrors and toilet, changed the hand towels) = 10 minutes

Empty the dishwasher = 5 minutes

Load the dishwasher = 5 minutes

Tidy up living room/dining room and vacuum both = 10 minutes

Putting away miscellaneous papers, clothes, books and stuff = 5 minutes

All these tasks added up to a total of 35 minutes.

35 minutes.

That’s it.

That’s when I force myself not to get distracted from one job by another job, when I force myself to not dwell on the old greeting card I just found in a stack of papers I was sorting (just as an example).

35 minutes, and my house is a place in which I can sit or invite someone over without being annoyed or embarrassed by the tasks that need doing.

When you break it down, it isn’t quite as daunting anymore.

Organizing Your Meals

I had another area that took me a long time to adjust: meal preparation. When you’re a couple, you have flexibility and the capability to fend for yourselves when necessary.

When you’ve got children, they depend on your to feed them.

It should be obvious, I know, but it took me a long time to catch on to.

For a long time, when dinner rolled around it caught me off guard. I mean, didn’t these children just have a snack an hour ago? How can they possibly be hungry? For them to expect dinner seemed so unreasonable. In reaction, we’d run out and get fast food, or we’d try and go to a “sit-down” restaurant (because at all the other restaurants you’re forced to stand??). We’d end up stressed out from trying to contain impatient, hungry toddlers, or we’d be stressed because we spent too much money on eating out.

Not a winning situation.

meal planning (Photo credit: LizMarie_AK)

When I finally realized that these people, however unreasonable, were going to want to eat EVERY DAY, we made a couple changes.

1. I joined a meal co-op.

The meal co-op was a fun idea that worked well for a while. I won’t go into great detail here, but it was a group of moms who delivered hot meals to one another.

2. I froze meals.

Freezing meals worked wonders for us. For example, we weren’t at a point where we could eat an entire 9×13 pan of lasagna. By preparing it in two smaller dishes and freezing one of them, we got two meals out of the deal. I found a fantastic book that had recipes that my family enjoyed and didn’t require a lot of exotic ingredients. It is still a go-to cookbook for me, and I recommend it to anyone, even just as a good general entrée cookbook. http://amzn.to/18lWh4I

3. I stocked up supplies for quick dinners.

Everyone has times when they just don’t feel like cooking, but eating out is expensive and not particularly healthy. We started keeping on-hand supplies for quesadillas and refried beans, soup and sandwiches, or taco salads. These don’t take much work, and my kids will eat them. It saved us stress, time and money.

4. If there was something I knew we needed regularly, rather than buying one I bought two.

For a long time I bought only what we’d need once we were almost out of it, and didn’t think ahead to when we’d need it again. Sometimes this was because it was cost prohibitive for me to buy ahead, but sometimes it was just a lack of planning. As we got more established, and I got better at managing our home expenses, it saved us trips to the store which in turn saved us money since we weren’t picking up all those little extras that end up in the cart when you shop with three children.

There you have it.

Getting our meals organized has made our supper times much more enjoyable. There are many tools out there to help you plan your meals, even planning out a couple weeks in advance, so I won’t offer those here. However, I do think that having a plan cuts down on the hunger induced crabbiness and anger that can well up when everyone wants food and no one knows what to do about dinner. It can also help the main chef in the house share the work of cooking. When there’s a plan, the chef can point out things others can do to help out.

I hope this series has been helpful. It comes from learning it slowly over time, the hard way.

My goal for structure is to get things done and thus free me up to have adventures and fun everyday, investing in friendships and relationships. Rather than rigid schedules or routines, these little helpers are there to serve you and keep things working smoothly in your home so it can be a place people (including the people who live there) can be welcomed and valued.

I’m always on the lookout for other ideas to make things easier around family life. If you’ve got any favorite routines or tips, please share them with the rest of us! And as always, thank you so much for reading.

Five Minute Friday: Ordinary

11
Oct

Do I tell myself there’s nothing wrong with ordinary because I am ordinary?

Is there anything wrong with being similar to others?

Do we all fancy ourselves special when in reality there are just varying degrees of ordinary?

I’d argue there’s no such thing as an ordinary person when meant to mean uninteresting or unimportant, not once you start looking beneath the surface.

***

http://mrg.bz/VcVFC1

I crouch against the hard surface above me and feel its resistance curve along my spine.

My head ducked, I could roll forward if there was any room. There’s not. There’s no room for living like this. I can no longer tolerate it.

I push with my legs, strain against the wall of separation, willing it to give way, but it’s reinforced by years.

My legs shake with effort, sweat slicks my back, my hands brace on my knees to aid the attempt.

When I think I can push no more,

Slowly, slowly, I feel one layer, then two, slip aside like shale sheering off above me.

Still I press, muscles growing shaky, weary from so much time.

Now I sense the ceiling yielding to my effort; legs extend one small inch more, one inch more,

Until finally I feel coolness, movement, space where once there was solid wall.

More effort, more time, until there is room for all of me to slip through the opening.

I unfurl, blink in the bright light, stretch wide in the freedom around me.

My emergence into my place in the world is more significant because it is collective, because we all must do it.

My achievement is not ordinary because it is in common with others.

It is monumental.

We are all miracles.

***

Whoa, I don’t know where that came from. This is a crazy Five Minute Friday attempt, so thanks for giving me the freedom to try something totally different today. You can be a part of Five Minute Friday too. Just head over to http://lisajobaker.com and you’ll find all the details, along with a bunch of fantastic posts and supportive community. Thanks for reading today!

Getting Organized at Home, Part 2

10
Oct

laundry (Photo credit: bies)

I think this is going to be a three part series, just like a good sermon, right? But my main points aren’t all going to start with the same letter. You’ll just have to find another way to remember them. 😉

This month I had a revelation.

Some of you are really smart and have already known this thing for years. It was such an unspoken assumption that you never thought to mention it to me. But it really was a new thought in my head.

Wanna hear it?

My revelation is simple.

It dawned on me as I was emptying the dishwasher that I will have to do this EVERY DAY.

Whaaaat??!

Yes. It is no longer a once every couple days type of thing. It is an every day activity.

The same goes for laundry (well, almost every day).

The same goes for dinner.

These things must happen every single day.

When my family consisted only of me and my husband, we could go days before the dishwasher would be full enough to justify running it. Laundry was only as needed, maybe once or twice a week. We could whip up meals easily and in a pinch we could scrounge a series of snacks and call it good.

Not so once you have a bigger family.

These people want to eat all the time.

And they must be forced to wear clean clothes or, if you’re not watching, they’ll wear the same thing four days in a row and two of those days there was mud adventures and coloring time with sidewalk chalk and markers.

Plus they can’t do much of the heavy lifting chores themselves. That will change but for now, it mainly fall to the person who stays at home with this wild crew.

And that’s me.

Everyday Flexible Routines

Part of my problem is that I don’t love routines.

Traditionally they’ve made me feel confined and limited, bossed around, if you will.

Dishwasher, open and loaded with dishes (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

But as I’ve tried to wrap my head around the necessity of routines, I’ve realized they also free me up to be able to keep one step ahead of the other people in my house.

If I keep up on the laundry, then nobody is bugging me for clean socks two minutes before the bus arrives.

If I make sure the dishwasher is emptied (by me or the child who is assigned that duty) then everyone else can more easily put their dirty dishes INTO said dishwasher.

If I maintain a rough routine, it allows me space to schedule all kinds of other things because I know the bare bones have been taken care of.

Here is an example of the everyday tasks I’ve admitted need to be done every day:

Run a load of laundry, including folding and putting away (some days it doesn’t get put away but at least it is folded and clean).
Unload dishwasher. If there are any dishes left in sink that didn’t make it in before I washed it, load ’em up.
Make the stupid bed.
Wipe down bathroom sink and make sure clothes and other items aren’t left in there.

See? That’s not so bad. Some of these routines only take a minute but they contribute to a sense of order and cleanliness. (Dorky word choice but dontcha just feel better knowing that you’re not going to get a glob of toothpaste on your hand when you turn on the faucet in the bathroom? That’s the power of cleanliness)

Tackle What Bugs You

My list probably won’t look the same as yours.

For example, it makes me crazy to leave our bed unmade. In my head, it makes my entire room look like a disaster, and maybe it is, but the unmade bed just accentuates that fact.

But that’s my thing, and it may not be yours.

Other people need to vacuum every day, or change the sheets daily. This seems like overkill to me, but if that’s what helps you keep your ship afloat, you should do it.

Some people are highly sensitive to crumbs and must sweep all floors in order to be assured the five second rule (you know the one where you’re eating something and it fall s on the floor? You’ve got five seconds to pick it up before it is officially dirty) can be safely and confidently implemented.

Whatever your thing, be it mail, garbage, a pristine refrigerator crisper drawer, go ahead and make it part of your routine, but I would encourage you to only include the things that really create a hitch in your day if left undone. Most people can get by without washing their windows every day, but it is harder to ignore the food demands of a family. See the difference?

You’re the Boss of Your Routine

If you start to teeter into being unable to leave something undone, or if you’re habitually late because you can’t leave your house until you lock and relock the doors five times each, then you may need to step back and re-evaluate the role of routine. Is it helping you or is it controlling you? Remember,

You’re the boss of your routine, and it exists to serve your purposes, not vice versa.

The goal of organizing the home is to develop an atmosphere of hospitality, peace and security. A messy jumble of a house might be fun for a while, but it soon it starts to feel cluttered, stressful and unwelcoming. There’s a balance to be found — organized but not rigid, tidy but not sterile. Take a little time, look around your home, and figure out what things might need a little more daily attention and they’ll be so much more manageable for you. You can do it, and then put your feet up and reward yourself with a good book, knowing that you’re creating a home you’d want to live in!

You offered some helpful insights after the last post, and I would love to hear some other things that work for you to stay on top of the business of running your home. Let’s help one another.

Getting Organized at Home, Part 1

8
Oct

Organized! (Photo credit: mgstanton)

Does anyone else think it’s hard to stay organized?

Does anyone else have a hard time getting organized in the first place?

Man, I’ve got other things I want to do.

There are a lot of more interesting activities than sorting papers or changing over clothes from one season to the next.

Bo-ring.

If I leave a stack of stuff in the corner for long enough, I don’t even see it anymore. And if I don’t see it, it doesn’t exist, right?

Not quite.

I’ve been getting after my kids about throwing their stuff on the floor rather than putting it away, but truth be told, I’m not a great example. While I might not throw it on the floor, I set down onto any convenient flat surface books, papers, stray earrings, pencil-top erasers, hair binders, chapstick and other miscellaneous items…

And then forget about them.

My dresser top is a disaster right now.

Five Minute Chunk

Part of my problem is that I don’t know where to start. Here’s how this process usually goes:

I consider where to start. I feel motivated and have a mental list of my goals.

I look around at the various options of things to handle. I feel overwhelmed.

I begin organizing one area, and while returning things to their proper place, I find a new task that needs attention. I get distracted by this new task and forget about the other one I was doing.

This process continues until I have five projects going all at once and the place looks ten times worse than it did before I started.

I feel discouraged.

I feel angry.

I abandon all projects and remove myself to a different location. Or I throw everything in a garbage bag and put it in the trash, only to discover there were important items that needed follow up, which was why they had been kept in the first place but now they’re long gone and my bill is overdue. The collectors come and repossess my house, my car and my bike and I have to go live under a bridge.

Which is a bummer.

Okay, that last part hasn’t happened but I have been drastic and thrown things out in a organizing-induced fury only to regret it later.

The way I’ve learned to handle myself so I don’t go all nuts-o is to stick to one area and work on it in five minute chunks.

You can do anything for five minutes, right?

At first it is harder than it sounds, since I apparently have the attention span of a gerbil. But as I remind myself to stay with the project at hand, I can get a surprising amount done in five minutes.

Then I can go play.

If I stick to the five minutes, I don’t have time to make piles of projects strewn about the house. I take care of the one, then I can gauge if I want to continue or if it has grown tiresome and I feel like doing something totally different. Usually it is the latter, but sometimes I see the progress I made and feel inspired to press on. Breaking it into manageable time portions helps keep it do-able, rather than seeing ALL the projects and feeling like I must complete them ALL AT ONCE.

I’ll admit this is a weak spot for me, so I’m open to suggestions. I know some of y’all are organizing machines, so please help those of us who are less gifted.

Why Get Organized?

There are some houses I’ve visited where everything was meticulous. You weren’t sure if you should even sit on the couch because it looked like no one had ever sat there before. Everything was pristine and it almost looked like it was a model home — nobody lived there.

I don’t want a house like that.

I’m okay with a little mess. (Some might say that I’m okay with A LOT of mess.)

When we have people to our home, including kids, I want them to feel welcomed and comfortable. If something gets spilled, nobody’s going to freak. If somebody needs to come in from a rainy or snowy day, I don’t want them worrying about messing up my entryway.

However, when things get too disorganized, there are no signals to people, or rather there are too many signals. “Put your stuff EVERYWHERE!” the signals say.

When things are tidied up, it is easier to notice things that are out of place. This makes it easier to maintain; it’s just getting to that point that’s hard.

Here are some reasons to get organized:

Organized! (Photo credit: nicholasjon)

To create or positively contribute to a sense of order, structure and peace

If things are a mess and you can’t find stuff, you get stressed out.

To avoid injury.

If you trip over toys left on the floor, you get mad or even hurt, and that’s no fun.

To allow family members to grow in independence

If you have a spot you keep certain items, people in the family know where to find certain items when they are needed (ie. pencil sharpener, keys, tape, etc.) and can do so on their own.

It leads (eventually) to more enjoyable time being together

When I sit down at home and see hair balls floating down the hallway, it isn’t as much fun to sit and relax. I’m better off taking the time to invest in a little cleaning/organizing now in order to better enjoy my down-time later.

It makes me more inclined to have people over (kids and grown-ups)

I’m more inclined to say yes to my kids ideas of having friends over, and I’m more apt to offer my home as a meeting place if I don’t feel embarrassed about the state of things or wish I had a spot for my friend to sit but too bad because it is covered in magazines and dish towels.

Getting organized allows more space for relationships to happen. And while I’m not super keen on organizing, I’m all about relationships. So today I’m going to work in five minute chunks to tackle a couple messy areas and contribute to the atmosphere of my home. If I’m not back in a couple days, send somebody over to check on me.) 🙂

What are some ways you stay organized? Is there a certain household task that you dread? If you’re going to put off cleaning, what is your favorite excuse?

October Vlog: Saying No (or Yes)

3
Oct

Here’s a video blog for your entertainment. Hope it is encouraging to you today!

What changes are going on for you lately? Do you need to say no to a few things? Or is it time for you to say yes?

Shorts as Battlefield

30
Sep

“I’m not wearing them.”

My son had no other clean shorts.

The only other clothes for his lower half were a pair of jeans.

It was forecasted to be 80 degrees.

He runs hot.

Jeans were not an option.

“What is wrong with them? You liked them when we bought them, they look nice on you, so what’s the problem?” I demanded.

“They’re too fancy. They’re church shorts,” he answered.

This coming from the kid who never has to dress up for church. He associates anything other than basketball shorts with “dressing up”. If only he knew what real “dressing up” was, he would not complain.

This is also coming from the kid who usually just grabs whatever from the drawer and throws it on without much thought.

The other two kids had their teeth brushed and backpacks loaded.

Princess Teacup needed to put on her socks and get her hair pulled up.

Bobo was already out the door, waiting for the bus.

The bus was due to come in three minutes.

‘I am willing to go down with this ship,’ I thought.

I had already explained how the shorts he pulled out of the dirty clothes hamper were in there because they were d.i.r.t.y. And if they’d been put in the hamper while they were NOT dirty, then that was too bad ’cause they’d been smushed up against dirty stuff and were now dirty by association. The blue khaki shorts were his only option, but Rex had decided they were a non-contender.

He was now in his bed, refusing to get dressed.

The bus came at 8:18 on the dot. Now it is this time:

Rather than being on my child who is now on the bus, this is where I find important items:

I Am Willing to Die on This Hill

For clarification purposes I should probably let you know that about a week ago I warned my boys that if they didn’t clean up their room by a specific time I would clean it, and all the stuff I cleaned up would go away for a while. I wouldn’t throw it out or donate it, but it would just “go away” for an irritating amount of time.

They cleaned up what their eyes saw, and later on I cleaned up everything that my eyes saw.

Let’s just say there was a lot of stuff in my bag.

Amongst all the toys, there were many articles of clothing in my bag, probably some of the shorts that Rex was now missing.

There are a couple things I would like to get on the record.

I am not an unreasonable person , not a control freak in any way.
I do not have rigorous standards with my children.
It is reasonable for kids to put dirty clothes in the hamper rather than on the floor.

Thanks, I feel better now that you know.

Since I am the person who does the laundry, I don’t appreciate washing clean clothes just because the hamper was the location that required less effort than folding a still-clean shirt and putting it back in the drawer. Am I crazy? Do all the other moms wash clothes even thought they aren’t dirty? Do I have an unfair expectation here?

I say thee Nay!

People of the cloth and soap, we must rise up against the forces that would demand we wash perfectly clean clothes! Think of the wasted time, electricity, water and detergent!

Nay!

After a brief cooling-off period, I returned to his room and told Rex I had come up with a compromise. If he would just put on the shorts, I would tell him what it was. He put them on, and I started to tell him the compromise, but once he had them on, he immediately realized that they are comfortable shorts.

He has friends who wear similar shorts.

He can still move in the shorts.

He likes the shorts.

I could just pinch him.

The crisis now averted, we loaded up the car and I backed out of the driveway.

He stretched out his ever-growing legs, propped them up on the armrests which are usually protected by his siblings and said,

“Ah, now I can lay out and relax. Maybe I should do this every day.”

The look I gave him in the rearview mirror made him grin and say, “But I won’t.”

Do you have battles with anyone in your family? How do you decide which things to let go? Do you have any tricks to help kids (or adults) keep their rooms clean?

I Want to Tell the Truth (but can I tell it slant?)

27
Sep

Taken from Selby Av side; 2006. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I want to be fearless and brave and bold.

I’m also a chicken.

I want to be true and tell you all the things I think about

women

church

God

relationships

loving others

living boldly

being free to be passionate and alive

But I’m also afraid I’ll hurt someone’s feelings,

That I’ll say something wrong,

That I’ll reflect badly on the people closest to me, even though my issues are my issues and I own that.

Let’s start with this:

My dad’s career was as a pastor. That shapes you a lot.

I’m also from Minnesota, a firstborn people-pleaser who has always played the role of mediator and peacekeeper.

That’s a two-fer, almost a trifecta.

I am way more steeped in evangelicalism than I ever realized as I was growing up.

I am also way more uncomfortable with it than I was growing up. Quite uncomfortable, actually.

That’s not easy to admit, because I understand the deep deep ties it creates, how someone’s entire world can be shaped by their evangelical worldview. To question that can appear as a crisis of faith.

Maybe it is.

It sure feels unsettling.

I also think there is room in my relationship with God for a wrestle-fest (“relationship with God” = evangelicalism <— see how that sneaks into stuff?).

There’s room for questions and ponderings and convictions and flying leaps from the top rope, cape flapping behind. I feel the wind rush past my face as I fly through the air, hoping to tackle God and wrastle Him to the mat so I can get some straight answers.

For now there’s only the whistling of the wind as I jump.

*****

This has become a habit around here. Every Friday I try to link up with Lisa-jo Baker’s Five Minute Friday. She offers a word prompt, people write for five minutes flat, then link their posts to her site, and the virtual potluck begins. It is open to anyone who wants to be a part of it. Here’s the link: http://lisajobaker.com Check it out!

Basic Things to Consider When Upgrading Your Blog

26
Sep

For some time now I’ve been thinking about upgrading this blog. I’ve been reading about the ever important “platform” conversation and “social media presence” necessary for writers. Am I a writer? Well, I write stuff, therefore I am a writer. There are varying degrees of seriousness. I may be on the early side of writer-hood but I’m on that path even if I’m doing at a turtle’s pace. Upon review I realized I’ve been blogging for a good four years now, an eternity in many ways. I definitely didn’t know what I was doing in the beginning, and my concern over privacy and protecting my family has kept me fairly private. In talking with a dear friend today, I was able to process some of the pros and cons of getting a domain name and what one to choose. I’m going to let you eavesdrop on that conversation and others I’ve had about blogging.

1. Picking a name is important.

This seems obvious, but there are a lot of different aspects to choosing a name. Writers are often told their name is their brand. In that sense it is practical to use your own name as a blog address. However, there are times when a blog name conveys what that blog is about. Some people choose to use that same name on other forms of social media, being “that-dog-lady” across various forms. As I think about picking a name…

I’m taking into account the fact that I have small kids and want their identities, and that of my husband, to remain private.
I’m taking into account that I don’t want my expressed opinions to reflect negatively on my family of origin.
I’m thinking about the longevity of the written word and the Internet, in addition to having an online presence and reputation of integrity.
I’m considering the fact that I have used a pen name Nita Holiday in the past. My Twitter account is associated with it, along with TC Larson.

2. Your site should cooperate.

When people try to get to your site, they should be able to do so with minimal trouble. If you use a service that has trouble (we’ve all seen those pages where the link is broken or unavailable) people get easily frustrated. They are also easily distracted. You don’t have much time to engage people on your site. If they have to work at it, you’ll lose them. There are books written by knowledgeable techies about the various hosts, so I won’t bore you with that here, but as I look into switching from a “wordpress.com” name to a simple “.com” I want to use something that will be dependable and offer help to a tech limited person like me.

3. SEO Nonsense and blogging to current trends.

There are strategists who recommend watching what is trending on social media and writing about those topics. That is one approach to blogging. I don’t happen to agree with it. I happen to be a big fan of authenticity. I get it that you can authentically want people to read your blog. I want people to read mine. But I’m not willing to write about things that are unimportant to me or an area in which I have no expertise. Ask me about parenting a toddler, I’ve got opinions and experience to back it up. If it was the Tour de France that was the trending topic, I’d be out of my element, unless we were talking about how to find a really inexpensive hybrid bike (which I’m trying to do right now).

You should write about the things that interest you. That’s what will keep you going. That’s where you’ll find other people who resonate with what you have to say. We all have our little niches. I just saw a picture of a bunny hopping around underneath a high chair, eating what the child had dropped. If you let your bunny hop around loose inside your house, there are other people who do too. You could write about it, and attract a huge following of other bunny-freedom-lovers.

Final Thoughts

Up to this point, using a wordpress.com template has worked great for me. I’ve been glad to use this service and I’ve come a long way from my first days of blogging. That said, I know I have a lot to learn. There’s a lot to think about before I actually go for the upgrade. And I’d welcome your wisdom in this process. Here are some questions for you:

Do you blog and how did you decide when to buy a more premium package?

How did you come up with your blog’s name?

What are your favorite blogs and why?

And if you’d be so kind, I’d love to get your feedback on the following poll: