These pages in a handmade art journal were created as a response to breath prayers hosted by Osheta Moore. Most of the prayers are hers, but I missed a couple so I added my own to fill in the gaps. When in doubt assume they’re from Osheta.

Are you someone who mulls things over, reviews situations over and over again, reconsiders what should have been said or done?

Or are you a person who finds change difficult? Someone who wants to stick with what’s been tried and true, and drags your feet when forced to try new things?

We are at a point in our governmental season when it’s time to move forward. The election results are in, and you can recount what you want — the results still lead to a new president. It’s time for change. It’s too bad that the current president wants to burn it all down on his way out of office, but he’s entrenched in his self-focus, fighting and flailing to hold on to power even as he abdicates his job responsibilities in the midst of a global pandemic.

The trouble is, he has sown so much distrust in one of the most basic shared values of our country — that people have a right to participate in our government by casting a vote that impacts the direction of our country — that some people are willing to entertain his conspiratorial spitballing in a way that stretches the imagination.

I’ve heard people saying we need to come together and move on. That’s not totally wrong, but it’s incomplete.

The past four years have revealed deep divisions in what we believe the role of government should be, revealed deeply held mistrust of the global community, and an inordinate trust in the conspiracies woven so confoundingly they’re almost nonsensical.

The thing I’m struggling with, and why I turn to breath prayers to calm my racing mind, is the idea that we’re supposed to pretend the past four years didn’t happen and people didn’t show their true bigoted colors. Almost half the country voted to give this guy another four years. I understand that once upon a time you could claim you were voting for the platform, not the specific candidate. But that ship has sailed. People have shown they are perfectly comfortable with discriminatory policies, rolling back environmental protections, cronyism, nepotism, and thinly veiled racism.

It’s unreasonable to ask those who disagree with such positions and tactics to just let bygones be bygones. There’s bigger issues at play here, and those are compounded by the fact that most politicians in the president’s party refuse to break with him.

Found poetry from a poem by Rumi: We feel the call of God, and the journey changes. / The mountain feels level under us. Love becomes agile and quick/ This traveling’s not done with the body. God’s secret takes form in your loving, pure soul. / Messengers invite us to walk with them. They say, “You May feel happy enlightened where you are, but we can’t do without you any longer!” / My guide, my soul, only sadness is when I am not walking with you.

There’s something to be said for moving forward in love. But the love needed is the kind that presses someone to do better, to rise to their potential, a love that is so invested that refuses to sugarcoat conflict or difficult issues. I want to move forward in love, but not at the expense of dehumanizing and disenfranchising fellow citizens and minimizing issues that most directly impact their daily lives.

As I work through my indignation in these difficult times, I do try to focus on how I’m breathing, where my shoulders are, what jaw and forehead are doing, and how long I’m letting myself ruminate on what I’m thinking about.

We can all use a little breathing room to process our positions and next steps as we all try to move forward together, and hopefully we can move forward in love.