…or Cut off Their Tails with a Carving Knife
Some people lay awake at night thinking about the future, some people about the past, some their finances, their children. I lay awake at night thinking about how to destroy mice.
At one time I thought the old nursery rhyme about the three blind mice was borderline inappropriate. I mean, running after three blind mice with a butcher knife? Come on people! Is this something you’d want your three year old doing? Dashing around the house chopping things with a sharp cooking utensil? I think not! But I have discovered that the nursery rhyme must have been written by somebody who had mice in her home.
I lay awake at night listening to a mouse. Well, I assume it is one mouse and I choose to refer to it as such, but there is the remote possibility there is more than one single mouse; however I find that possibility so repulsive that my mind refuses to seriously consider it. At night, the mouse begins his day. He makes some coffee, checks his email, reads the paper, returns a few voicemails, and goes about his business. This usually consists of making just enough noise to wake me up with scratching, gnawing, scurrying, and then he does his daily reconnaissance. He has rifled through bank statements, checked out the clothes my kids have outgrown, looked at various receipts and bills. He has surveyed the various corners and hidden recesses of my room, and might even be the cause of my missing socks. I am fairly convinced the mouse has stolen my credit card numbers and gone online to order himself Teflon booties, which he uses to walk across sticky traps with immunity — he can more easily slide across them even though the entire floor is littered with them. He just moseys around like he owns the place, I picture him with a little jaunty hitch in his giddy-yup as he roams the edges of the room, nodding at his peeps and even blowing kisses to the ladies.
You can see why I might take up a kitchen knife, just to show that little varmint some manners.
Tanya:
You are a very thoughtful writer. I read whatever you post and usually smile at your tender observations. I think you should be a columnist! Maybe you already are and I just don’t know that. I keep very fond thoughts of you and all your hard work at FCC in my heart. Blessings on you and your family this Christmas.
Dawn H.
Dawn, you are so encouraging! Thank you for taking the time to comment — I also have great memories of FCC and of you. So glad to have reconected, even in this abbreviated form! Have a wonderful and blessed Christmas!
Oh booknerd, I need a good book to read. Chris is going to Costa Rica for a week in January and I don’t want to spend my evenings watching the tube. Got any quick reads that will change my world?
I accidentally got sucked into the God’s and Kings series by Lynn Austin a couple years ago. It is historical fiction, which I don’t always run to, but it expanded on a small verse in the Old Testament — I mean she took it and ran with it. I found it hard to put down, a quick read, and it made me think about all the other times I just breeze past something without thinking about the backstory, particularly when reading the Bible. So that’s a sure winner.
Another slightly hard-to-suspend-your-disbelief, posibly irritating but also one that sucks you in is the Sophie Kinsella bunch of books that all start with “Shopaholic”, Shopaholic Moves to the Middle East, Shopaholic Finally Gives Her Server a 20% Tip, Shopaholic Tells a Bunch of Lies and Then Pays the Price by Losing All Her Friends, you get the idea. And the stories become a little formulaic after a while, but she just gets herself into such messes that it’s a bit like watching a trainwreck. So if you’re looking for something that falls into the guilty-pleasure category, you might enjoy something by Kinsella.
Everybody’s Normal ‘Til You Get to Know Them by John Ortberg is something totally different than the others I mentioned, but he has some amazing insights and articulates things you know intuitively in a way that makes you realize just how brilliant you’ve been this whole time! 🙂 I enjoyed this book, and I know of others who really gravitate towards anything he writes.
Tell me what you end up with! I’ll be interested to hear your reactions if you choose one of these suggestions! And remember, when Chris is gone (or when he’s home) it is okay for you to let yourself relax. You have enough activity during your day to earn you at least two weeks of doing absolutely NOTHING. Peace out!
Ha! love it!!
you should get a cat! sweet dreams are sure to follow.
unless you start to wonder about lost mittens…