This is an intense period in society here in the United States. There are strong feelings on all sides. As a general position in any situation, I dislike conflict, so any election season is tiring. You can probably guess (and I bet I’m not alone) that it’s been a lo-o-o-ong few months. I’m finding it hard to stay detached from the campaign and the results. The values I thought we shared as a nation have turned out to be negotiable and quickly cast aside, seemingly in a cheap swap for fear. Rather than being fringe positions held by outliers and discouraged by social norms, the president has normalized bigotry and tribalism (I think that’s fair to say), and has emboldened those who share his views. Some of the people I love dearly are sure to vote for him.

Sometimes I feel pretty angry about it all.

This is a beautiful post by a friend of mine, Misty, who talks about art and anger, and I’d love to have you check it out. It’s easy to think of anger as being destructive or negative, and sometimes it is. But it doesn’t have to be. It’s similar to the idea of being “not fragile like a flower, fragile like a bomb.” Anger doesn’t have to be something that renders a person frothing and senseless. It can be a catalyst, an animating force that moves us to action.

My friend Misty skillfully articulates the process of disappointment and heartbreak that so many people have experienced broadly by discovering their (our) own complicity in systems of oppression, and then specifically addresses disappointment with the white evangelical church. You can pop over to read it by clicking here.

One of the things we can try to do on the other side of this election is to listen to one another. That was a theme of the 2016 election and the success of 45; people who felt discounted thought someone was finally listening to them. It’s so easy to create cardboard cut-outs of one another, a mentality of ‘you voted for so-and-so which means you agree with everything they say’. Some folks are less reflective or analytical, and they vote the way they’ve always voted simply because that’s what they do.

It does seem like a fair question to ask if someone holds the same priorities as “their candidate” but things are often more nuanced than they’re presented in the quick bites we get in headlines. When we are given an either/or scenario, one that eschews both/and, it inherently limits the common ground we’ll be able to find. It might take some time to get the whole story. I’m willing to allow for that, and I think everyone is capable of growth and change. Change doesn’t happen overnight.

However, it means everyone should be listening, not only one side or the other. And when people decry the discriminatory policies and hate-mongering rhetoric of the administration, their voices and perspectives should be heard.

As for that in-between time we currently inhabit, we need grace, patience, and the willingness to continue open conversations, even when that’s uncomfortable. Do we need to have potentially awkward and hard discussions with people who hold different views than we do? Do we need invest in becoming more aware of and involved in the political process? Should we evaluate the goals we’d like to achieve and how can we help reach them? I think the resounding answer is yes.

Personally, while we wait I’m eating a blueberry muffin and a special coffee that’s flavored with honey and cinnamon. I’m being aware of my physical posture and checking in with my shoulders and eyebrows. I will be trying to limit how click-crazy I get and often I allow myself to check the results. Maybe I’ll take a peek at lunchtime but then I’ll try to wait until late afternoon before I look again. [That’s a lie: I’ve already checked two more times. But I can TRY to look LESS than I would otherwise.]

Then I’m going to make a plan for putting my anger into action, a plan for making change. If this election is showing us something, it’s showing us that the last four years have not been objectionable for almost half of the United States. I want to do something to change that.

In the meantime, we can all remember to breathe.