It’s Five Minute Friday and the word prompt is “together” but what came out spun off in it’s own directions. I don’t know how to explain this except to say when I saw the prompt I immediately thought about how lately I’ve been thinking about starting a “small group” through my church. The only thing is, the more I think about it, the more confined I feel by that definition — that a small group needs be organized under the umbrella of a church. I didn’t used to function that way. Maybe that was because I had the luxury of overlap between the people who were in the small group, people who were my friends, and people with whom I attended church.
Things now don’t have the same overlap.
Enough with the preamble. I’ll be interested in your reactions, so please feel free to chime in in the comments. As always, I am very grateful that you’ve taken time out from your day to read my scattered thoughts.
Deep breath.
Ready.
Set.
GO.
*****
I don’t know when I became so rigid.
Maybe it was bit by bit,
as frost settling onto the top of water
into a crust of ice
into a brittle sheet
into a thickness you drive a car across and need an auger to drill through.
Definitions matter, but not if you use the wrong ones.
A place that preaches a doctrine of small groups in the midst of being a swarm,
very little is intimate about the great multiple-gather,
multiple-site,
multiple satellite venue,
People punch tickets, hand out gold stars for attendance but gloss over how hard it is
to force foot in front of foot as that doorway approaches.
Inside you see the round table (why a round table – you can’t hear the person across from you, you’re stuck with two options of conversation and one of them is inevitably busy talking to the person on the far side of them), purses already stake out territorial plastic claims
And no one stops their sentence to greet you.
No one looks up,
No one seems to realize you’re even there.
****
STOP
Hi,
I read your description of no one stopping to greet you at the round table, and I could feel your pain…it is hard to go to a big conference…I am an introvert and I really had to force myself to say “hi” when I didn’t know anyone at the table…hope someone notices you and says “hi” to you, or you can say “hi” and you will feel welcomed 🙂
Thank you for empathizing with me. You should also know that I’m not at the conference, and this is just one of those common experiences I think we all face at some point. Can I please say without the slightest hint of being condescending that I’m proud of you for putting yourself out there and forcing yourself to say hi to a table of strangers? That is not an easy thing. I hope that you connect with some kindred spirits while you’re there!
Lovely sad piece.
Would not say you are being rigid, I would just say you are not finding what you are looking for at that church right now. I would encourage you to look elsewhere. 🙂
This is something I wrestle with since it is sometimes easier to bounce, looking for the church that’s the perfect fit, rather than ask myself what I’m doing to take responsibility to be a part in creating the kind of church I want to commit to. I’m trying not to write off our church because it has a lot of good things going for it. Sometimes it is hard to find everything in one place, and that’s where I wonder if I’m restricting myself to finding a “small group” experience in the context of church when I could find that experience elsewhere.
Thanks for sharing your perspective today. I appreciate it.
Good point! I would think if you pray about it, perhaps you can stat a small group and will be drawn to other people at your small church who do feel the same way you do and seem more welcoming. 🙂 Good luck!