TC Larson

Stories and Mischief

Is the Housing Market in an Upswing?

27
Jan

There are folks who say the worst of the housing market is over, and then there are people who strongly disagree. I’d like to offer a brief tutorial of the terms and confusion I’ve learned about through the process of trying to sell and buy a home currently.

#1. Underwater: This is used interchangably with “upside-down” and means that you owe more on your mortage than you are able to sell your house for. With the decline of the housing market, this term refers to A LOT of houses.  

#2. Short Sales: These basically suck. The seller wants/needs to sell the house, but is probably upside-down or underwater on the mortage (see #1). The seller has talked to the bank about their situation, a situation which is usually one that makes paying the mortage difficult if not impossible. Sometimes you have to stop paying the mortage in order to get someone at the bank to talk to you, and many times you have to already have an offer to show the bank before they will discuss the possibility of a short sale. Once you bring the bank into the mix, they have a say about what kind of offer you as a seller can entertain. And they are pretty picky about the offers, even rejecting perfectly reasonable offers, trying to hold out for more money.

As a buyer,  you can make an offer on a short sale, hear nothing for three to four months, and then get your offer turned down after all that waiting.

#3. Foreclosure: This is when the seller has stopped making payments on a house, and the bank is starting the procedures to take over the ownership of the house. It can be a long process to get to this point, with a short sale process beforehand, a mandatory six month redemption period, sheriff’s sale, and eviction notices. Once the house finally goes back to the bank, they usually take it off the market for one month, then relist it at a price they determine to be most likely to sell the place based on the comprable houses around it.

What people don’t know as much about, or at least I didn’t, is that when a house is a short sale, the bank can begin foreclosure proceedings simultaneously, speeding up the foreclosure process and surprising the seller.

The thing that has come to light in the past year, is that mortgages get sold quicker than umbrellas on a rainy day in November. Half the time, the actual current holder of a mortage can be very unclear and hard to trace. The advice I’ve heard in reaction to this is MAKE THEM (the whoever that wants to foreclose on the property) PROVE THEY HOLD THE MORTGAGE before you leave the property. The lady who lives next door to us right now has had her notices mailed to the wrong addresses and with inaccurate names. If the bank can’t prove they hold the mortage, they can’t legally take action against the owner.

#4. Buy and bail: This is a new-ish phenomenon where someone buys and moves into a different second house, then stops payment on the first house’s mortage. Sounds dicey doesn’t it? Maybe, according to the old paradigm, but things aren’t as tidy anymore, and things that used to seem untenable are actually on the table to consider these days. People are starting to look at their interactions with banks as business deals, rather than issues of honor or reputation. When you remove the stigma of a foreclosure, the embarassement of your community knowing that you couldn’t make the mortage payments, and the ethics of failing to pay back what you borrowed, it is easier to look mearely at the facts on the paper: the housing market stinks like a breeze off a landfill, no one’s house is monetarily what it is actually worth (ie. what it would cost to build the exact same house brand new right now), and why should an individual be required to pay back entirely a loan to a bank that has leeched their bailout money from the taxpayer but then refuses to talk to that same taxpayer? Shouldn’t there be some way for the bank to extend a hand of compromise to a person who wants to come through on their loan re-payment, but the current circumstances in which the United States find’s itself makes it virtually impossible to do so without going into personal bankruptcy?

Why would someone do a short sale as a seller? People want to try and do the “right thing” and pay at least a portion of mortage off in a sale, but can’t afford to take the entire loss. And a short sale affects their credit for a shorter amount of time than a foreclosure does, only 3-4 years rather than 5-7 years.

#5. Contract for Deed: Also called “CD’s”, this is usually done by a seller who owns their house outright, and a buyer who, for whatever reason, is unlikely to qualify for a mortage through a more conventional route. Guess what? The bank doesn’t want this done by people who still hold a mortage, because it puts the bank second in line…or something. Anyway, there is the chance that you can do one, get it registered or certified all legal-like, and it will all be butterflies and rainbows. But there is also the chance that the bank will find out about it, and then they have been known to call in the loan, as in “This loan is due immediately rather than 25 years from now, and you’d better come up with the money by tomorrow or you’ll be tying your shoes with your elbows.”…or something. What are the odds that the bank will have nothing better to do than come after you with all the foreclosures they’re handling? Well, that depends on just how lucky you’re feeling? Do you feel lucky? Well, do ya? (Thank you, Clint Eastwood.)

#6. FHA versus Conventional Loans: Okay, conventional loans right now want you to have like 10% – 20% down and perfect credit. Wow. That’s nice. Who are they talking to? With the way things are going for those poor saps (like me) who are trying to sell a house, who is it that can come into a new deal with 20% down? They sure as heck ain’t getting it from the sale of their other house, unless they’ve been there a long, long time.

That’s where FHA loans are supposed to fill the gap. FHA requirements are less stringent than conventional loans, with a lower credit score required, a smaller amount for a downpayment and lower percentage rates. Why would anyone try to go the other route? Because FHA is usually really picky about the kind of house they will approve for a mortgage. They can decide to say no if a house has a railing that doesn’t meet code, or siding that has some of the paint chipping off.

So what’s a person to do? Well, get yourself a rich, long lost uncle, then have him die and leave you a huge windfall of money. Can’t arrange that? Me neither. Neither can most of America.

It is difficult to not get irritated (or irate) with the whole bank bailout thing the government did, saying that these chumps were too big to fail, then watch as the same banks tighten the screws and pretend the housing market is the same as it was seven years ago. It’s just not the same beast at all. Why should Jenny Ordinary, who needs to move out of her house to a different town for a better job, why should Jenny Ordinary be forced to pay for the completely out-of-her-control housing market that now renders her home a money pit of sorts? Why shouldn’t the bank, who was the one giving out mortages they shouldn’t have been, have to at least negotiate with her and take a portion of the loss? Why be so stubborn, and then act surprised when Jenny files for foreclosure because she can’t find any more funds to pay back the mortage, which she is trying to pay back since she has a sense of honor and duty? Does the bank have a sense of duty or honor? Are you stinkin’  kidding me?

Things have changed and changed radically. People are having to entertain things they never thought they’d have to, making deflating decisions based on a new set of principles, business models, and spreadsheets. And banks are trying to shush these people and convince them that everything is fine and they should just pretend everything is the same as it used to be. But ask anyone who finds out that their home is worth 30% less than it was two years ago, and they’ll tell you that it is a new game, and not a fun one. We aren’t playing Old Maid at your granny’s house here. This is backroom at Vegas, and the stakes are pretty high.

Take a look and see what you think: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/26/business/economy/26econ.html?_r=1&source=patrick.net

Reader Input

18
Jan

I’m working on a portion of a story that has a broomball team in it. Being set in Minnesota, one would HOPE it would include a broomball team, right? So I would love to get your reaction to some of the names I’m considering. I should give props to my brother, Nate, who came up with some of these (and more) suggestions. Now you tell me which name you’d be proud to wear on your back!

World’s Biggest Mouse

12
Jan

Fluffy Mouse

Most Unexepected Quarry

Imagine my surprise when I heard a racket in our room and discovered my parents tiny dog stuck in not one but TWO sticky traps. The traps didn’t catch any mice, but sure looks like they should have!

By the by, notice off to the right, there are at least two other traps along the wall. What you can’t see is that there are two more besides the ones the dog is wearing. Along with that, there is steel wool shoved into the tiny cracks, and it is holding D-Con in place inside the wall. The mice had their chance to get out, but they got cocky and wouldn’t leave. So now it’s ON. This is all out war, folks!

God in the Details

9
Jan

Would you believe that this song was played during the offering at church today? It really reminded me that sometimes, not every time we might need it, but sometimes, God sends a little “love note” or very specific way of encouraging us. Could it be that I was looking for this? Sure. But that doesn’t negate the fact that this song was played on this exact day, and while it could be interpreted in many different ways depending on the listener, it spoke directly in response to the things flying around in my head and spirit. Pretty cool, if you ask me. The video here doesn’t make oodles of sense to me, but if I just listen to the words and the music, that’s the message I needed. And He knew it. Amazing.

Housing Complications

8
Jan

Well, it is official. The so-called buyer who was just waiting to get the financing together will be unable to do so by the official closing date. We’ve been waiting since the end of August for the buyer to get her financing squared away, all the while she’s been living in our house.

This means many things for me and my family. And while I understand that “things are hard all over the world” that is cold comfort when faced with the prospect of going back to square one in a stagnant housing market.

This draws us, Dear Reader, into a complicated conversation about a specific aspect of God. I do not believe a “health and wealth gospel” is a Biblical viewpoint. Buuuuut, it is easy to accidentally hold to a watered down version of it, one that justifies a hope that God will bless me and mine because we follow Him. But I’m look around and I’m not seeing that play out in many of the lives around me, including those who genuinely follow God. So where does this cockamamie idea come from? Elementary school, when all is about fairness and bad stuff only happening to other people? Sports experiences, when many times there is a correlation between energy and time invested and the final outcome (ie. one improves the more one practices the correct things)? Simple business transactions where if I put X amount of money in at such and such rate, the return is a very calculable Y?

I’m going to chew on this a while and get back to you, Dear Reader, but I have a strong feeling that you might have some opinions on the matter. I am curious what your faith heritage taught you about God’s activity in our everyday lives, and the “benefit package” for following Him. Do you think that “prayer of Jabez” idea is Biblical (I know it comes from the Bible, but is it a one time occurence vs. an ongoing Biblical theme)? Why do we expect God to do things our way, and in a timely manner? It is so self-centered, and yet so hard to stop the feeling before it takes place without even realizing it has happened!  I will get back to you with any profound revelations I discover. Chime in with your experience – I’d love to hear it.

Don’t Say “I Told You So”

30
Dec

This is what my Winter Garden ambitions have come to:


I should have known that, when the ground inside the garden was hard in late October (if I remember correctly, it was October though I never really documented it. Maybe that’s an idea for next time?), we weren’t going to make it through the winter season. But it was an experiment, remember? So not all experiments are flying successes, as evidenced by this screaming failure of a winter garden.

Trying (squeak) to be Brave

24
Dec

I’m going to put up a portion of a story I’m working on.

Yes.

I am going to do it.

Any minute now.

 I’m going to put it up, and anybody will be able to see it and comment on it or rip it to shreds or say anything about it that they want to. It won’t matter how much effort I put into it or how long it took me to do it or how painstakingly I tried to edit it. It will just be out there and for better or worse, you, Dear Reader, can think whatever you want to about it or about me.

It’ll be great.

Because if you write things only for yourself, you could really disconnect yourself from the rest of the world, all holed-up in your little writing corner (wouldn’t a writing corner be nice? *sigh*). What if you’ve got something people need to hear or a perspective that’s not being offered? You should probably help out the world by sharing your brilliance. Why not be bold about it? Put it out there into the ether and see what comes of it? Right. Bold. Brave. Take my own advice.

I think I need another cup of coffee.

But don’t worry, as soon as I get it, I’m going to come right back and put up a portion of that story and its gonna be great.

 Just you wait.

Now where is that coffee mug?

My Folks’ First Winter in a “New To You” House

23
Dec

There was no safety rope
Does this Guy Get Paid Enough?
The First Step to Recovery: Admit You Have a Problem

We all want to believe we can handle it ourselves. But there comes a time when we have to admit something is bigger than what our tools (either actual nuts and bolts tools or life experience tools, maybe even emotional tools!) will allow us to manage. When the leak in the ceiling has filled various bowls and containers with more than a few gallons worth of water, it might be time to consider that there is a problem. I can even say I’m doing it for the kids — it will provide hours of very expensive entertainment for them, and they might even reference this Christmas as The Year the Roof Leaked and The Guys Came with the Steam Blaster and Climbed Up on the Roof That Was Awesome!. I think it might just be worth it.

But just in case it’s NOT worth doing for the kids, it is inconvenient to keep having to empty those seven containers of water every morning and evening. I could try to get the kids to do it, but then there’s the inevitable mopping and wet carpets to contend with. So that’s not a viable option. And I gotta tell ya, the diapers I’m using to soak up the sprinkles ain’t cheap either! I only have one child left in diapers, and we’re trying to get her out of those (I should probably address the pacifier thing sometime soon too, huh?), so the prospect of spending even more time with boxes of diapers around is not appealling.

It comes down to the way I want to pay; all in one chunk or in small increments over the next few winters. If I do it all in one bank bag with a green dollar sign on it, then I might be able to go away overnight without having to pay somebody to come empty the buckets of leaky runoff. Though I might actually be able to find enough nickles in my couch to buy another box of diapers…

But if I could get my hands on a bank bag with a green dollar sign on it, it might be fun to play with if nothing else. I could leave it laying around when company comes over, and then act all nonchalant about it and say, “Oh that! Oh, I’m so sorry. I meant to have that money bag put away before you got here. Let me get rid of that,” and then heave it up over my shoulder like it was all heavy even though in reality it wouldbe filled with crunched up newspapers.

Or I could drag it out to the garbage can like a huge bag of leaves just as they come to pick up the trash on a Monday, and then hoist it up and just barely be able to shove it into the can, then brush my hands off like I’m glad to be rid of it. I wonder how long they would last before they’d have to pull it back out just to see what really was in there? I’d make a terrible garbage collector ’cause I’d be too curious about what people were throwing away, or I’d think I could make something out of it (The White Stripes: “Make some money out of it at least!”). Ask me about my rock-adorned lamp sometime!

 

Teaching Manners to Small Ones

20
Dec

…or Cut off Their Tails with a Carving Knife

Some people lay awake at night thinking about the future, some people about the past, some their finances, their children. I lay awake at night thinking about how to destroy mice.

At one time I thought the old nursery rhyme about the three blind mice was borderline inappropriate. I mean, running after three blind mice with a butcher knife? Come on people! Is this something you’d want your three year old doing? Dashing around the house chopping things with a sharp cooking utensil? I think not! But I have discovered that the nursery rhyme must have been written by somebody who had mice in her home.

I lay awake at night listening to a mouse. Well, I assume it is one mouse and I choose to refer to it as such, but there is the remote possibility there is more than one single mouse; however I find that possibility so repulsive that my mind refuses to seriously consider it. At night, the mouse begins his day. He makes some coffee, checks his email, reads the paper, returns a few voicemails, and goes about his business. This usually consists of making just enough noise to wake me up with scratching, gnawing, scurrying, and then he does his daily reconnaissance. He has rifled through bank statements, checked out the clothes my kids have outgrown, looked at various receipts and bills. He has surveyed the various corners and hidden recesses of my room, and might even be the cause of my missing socks. I am fairly convinced the mouse has stolen my credit card numbers and gone online to order himself Teflon booties, which he uses to walk across sticky traps with immunity — he can more easily slide across them even though the entire floor is littered with them. He just moseys around like he owns the place, I picture him with a little jaunty hitch in his giddy-yup as he roams the edges of the room, nodding at his peeps and even blowing kisses to the ladies.

You can see why I might take up a kitchen knife, just to show that little varmint some manners.