Has anyone else tried looking for a house to buy lately? Holy shnikes, it can become all consuming! The possibility that there might be a new listing, that your online search might not have had the right parameters, that you’ve used the mailing address rather than the city address, that you’ve limited yourself to a specific area and if you just went one mile out from those parameters…well, it can drive you to your computer for endless hours of research. Then when you tag on the actual showings you might arrange, and since no one has come up with a real-life version of the Star Trek transporter unit that I’ve been made aware of, you have to allow some time to get between houses. It can easily cost you weeks of your life, maybe even more.

And then there’s the mental games you can play with yourself about downpayment options (have any of you Gentle Readers ever heard of someone coming in with 20% down who was not independently wealthy? Just wondering.), percentage rates, closing costs and the like. You could spend more weeks trying to compare costs and rates in any of those areas too. That’s why I’m proposing a change.

I think there should be live-in realtors. Doctors used to make house calls, I think realtors should come with a blow-up airbed and hunker down on the floor of your living room for a week. It would be much more efficient, especially for those who are truly ready to make a decision about a place. Between the realtor and the buyer there would be better communication, more dedicated efficient energy expended, and some real friendships could even grow. Some people meet their spouses in stressful situations and are bonded for life by the experience, why couldn’t your new best buddy be your former realtor?

It seems like it would work for everyone. The realtor is motivated because they don’t want to spend any more time at your house than they have to, so they can dedicate all of their time to finding the right house for you and closing the deal. Meanwhile, you can squeeze every last drop of real estate knowledge from them, examine the various subtleties of short sales vs. foreclosures, and even send them out for Chinese food, should the opportunity arise.

Admitedly, this could also cause quite a bit of tension. What if your realtor snores terribly and keeps you up at night? Or what if your realtor is deathly afraid or allergic to dogs and you have two of them? Then there’s the possible sharing of a bathroom and that comes with obvious potential for awkward situations. I’ve seen many of the Glamour Shots photos of realtors, and I’m guessing they take a lot of time to get ready for the day each morning. You could really use a second bathroom. But maybe that’s why you’re moving in the first place! Ah, what a circle we’ve drawn here.

I hope that you are comfy in your cozy home right now and don’t have to do any selling or buying. Or maybe if you must buy, I hope you don’t have to sell. It can be so discouraging, especially if you like the house you live in. When other people don’t want to buy your house, it is hard not to take it personally.

So to any of you who are buying or selling a home, stay strong, my comrades, stay strong.