Oh man. You are helping me face one of my worst fears: publishing a blog post by accident. I’ve been blogging for like five years now and I believe this is the first time I’ve messed this up this badly.
**shrieks in terror as she realizes her fear has come true**
That’s what I get for working on my phone and thinking I could easily pop over and save a draft of a post and instead I published it before it was complete.
Deep cleansing breath.
Now that we’ve bemoaned my mistake (complete with an actual facepalm here on this side of the computer) please allow me to share the revised all-in-one version that I posted in two portions yesterday.
My friend Kim’s daughter is getting married this weekend. Let it be known that I am only 40 and none of my children will be getting married any time soon. My friend isn’t that much older than 40, but she got an earlier start than I did, and so her daughter (who is also getting an earlier start than I did) is getting married. Maybe I was a late bloomer.
Getting married is a mile marker, a major life event. It changes you, makes you open your life to someone else, making their growth and their desires and their health equally as important as your own. You may, heaven forbid, one day find yourself unmarried, but from the moment you take those vows, there’s a kids before and a life after.
I have another friend (yes, I have more than one friend, smarty pants, and for that I am grateful) who’s daughter and husband just bought their first house. Say what you will about the mortgage and banking industry, debt or the stereotypical American Dream, but buying your first home is an entry point into full adulthood in the eyes of many. The ability to be deemed creditworthy of making such a long term investment says something about your stability and responsibility. It’s a mile marker, and even if you sell the house and decide not to own a house again, it’s life event and it shapes your attitudes about a whole myriad of subjects.
Another friend of mine is walking alongside her mother through the process of being diagnosed with cancer. Have I mentioned lately that cancer sucks?
I’ve started wondering if cancer is going to be another mile marker in our lives. Is it something everyone will face? Is it another common experience that forever changes us?This time it isn’t something we enter into with any choice, and we’d certainly reject it if given the opportunity. Even if we are bystanders we are impacted, and our sense of safety and invincibility is sent spinning.
It would be nice to think that as we continue through life we are granted immunity from loss and grief, and there are definitely monumental life events that are full of joy and deep contentment. But I’m starting to realize…or maybe I’m just wisening up to what everyone else already knew, that just as happy mile markers are a part of life that should be expected, perhaps difficult ones are too. If we begin to accept the idea that they’ll visit us eventually, maybe it can take the surprise out of their arrival.