Today’s post is part of a larger link up with Lisa-Jo Baker. She organizes Five Minute Friday. Anyone can participate, and you can find more details here: http://lisajobaker.com The idea is to write without censoring ourselves, nitpicking details or worrying about every little nuance. Turn off the perfectionism and release yourself to write for the pure pleasure of it using the word prompt she supplies each week. I personally invite you to give it a try — it’s a great way to find other interesting blogs and it is amazing how many different angles there can be from one word.
Word Prompt: In-Between
Ready. Set. GO.
I hate being in-between. I’ve felt in-between so many times in so many situations over the years that I’ve come to dread it.
In-between jobs, in-between life stages, in transition, inconvenient, insecure.
As a kid, I was in-between a lot. My dad was a pastor and I often felt stretched thin. There was the desire to shrug off the expectations of my family and of my faith, and just do what everyone else was doing. But when I tried that route, I didn’t fit where I thought others did, feeling instead guilt and self-consciousness at my discomfort in situations I knew were dicey. I couldn’t just shut down my conscience and roll with it.
Now that I’m adult, I feel in-between again. My husband and I chose to have me stay at home with the kids while they were little. I was 100% onboard. Now my youngest is getting ready to start kindergarten in the fall, and this opens up possibilities…
You know, whichever you prefer.
The part of me that decided to stay home wants that availability for my children, wants the convenience of doing errands while the rest of the world is hard at work, wants to be the volunteer at the field trip, program or other kid activity.
The part of me that desires to do something other than take care of the kids, husband and home, that part of me is conflicted because, having been home for more than eight years, I feel like I’m back at the beginning again. Starting over. Any experience or education I had seems antiquated and obsolete. How does one start up an engine that has been sitting in the back 40 collecting rust?
There are gazillions of women like me, I don’t think for one second I’m alone in this, but it is hard to know where to begin again. The in-between feels so much like being set back, like restarting the life I had previously, before children, instead of being a new adventure.
I think that if I can tutor myself, tell myself those things I would tell my kids about attitude, new beginnings and taking chances, this in-between might be more comfortable, more positive, a year full of possibilities and rediscovering passions. And maybe in the midst of starting a new stage of our lives together as a family, we will all come to appreciate each other and who we all are as developing individuals, even their mom.
What do you think about your life station? What are you in-between right now? How do you deal stay positive during life transitions?